Mr. Softee

Q:
My penis is getting me really bummed out. No matter what I do and what drug I take, I just cannot achieve a firm hard-on. Am I getting old? (I just turned 45.) How can I whip my dick into shape?

A:
Many men feel your pain. Indeed, 10 to 15 percent of men your age experience some degree of erectile dysfunction (ED). Although age alone doesn’t cause ED, it is definitely a factor. Hormone levels change drastically at around 40 years of age, and declining testosterone can be responsible for diminishing erections. Another big cause of erectile issues is vascular or heart problems. An erection is all about blood flow, so if your vessels are blocked you won’t get enough blood to fully engorge your penis. In fact, ED is often an early warning sign—men with ED are 80 percent more likely to suffer a heart attack or stroke. Diabetes is another big culprit, as it can damage the blood vessels. Other medical conditions, such as a pituitary disorder or liver damage, can also affect erectile functioning.

Get a complete medical checkup to see if any of these conditions underlie your penile problems, and make sure that any medications prescribed to correct your medical condition don’t further aggravate your ED. About 25 percent of ED cases are caused by drugs such as antidepressants and medications for hair loss.

Stress can also be an erection downer, as the cortisol released by our bodies during stress lowers testosterone. Changing your lifestyle, such as cutting down on drinking and smoking, will also do wonders for your weenie. Hitting the gym is one of the best ways to improve your erectile function, as working out boosts your testosterone level, improves your vascular and cardiac health, and reduces stress—not to mention the exposure you get to lots of fit eye candy, which is in itself a great penile motivator.

Finally, consider this paradox: Getting your mind to focus less on your cock and more on her pleasure is bound to improve your erection. A watched pot never boils, and a watched penis never hardens. Make it all about her—kiss and caress her, give her massages, and give her great head; before you know it, you will be stiff and screwing. The less pressure you put on your penis, the more likely it is to perform for you.

Victoria Zdrok's combination of beauty and intelligence has earned her the label as "sexpert" in many media outlets. She writes a monthly column on love, sex, and dating for Penthouse Magazine entitled "Ask Dr. Z," and a column on sexuality and the law for Penthouse Forum. She is a frequent contributor to several publications and has her own SIRIUS Satellite Radio specialty show, The Sex Connection, on Howard 101. You can find out more about Dr. Z at www.sexysexpert.com