We polled our local experts—the Penthouse Pets—on the best sex scenes in Hollywoodland.
In picking our favorites, we focused on tunes that have themes as exciting as their sound (so no “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road” by the Beatles); are actually about sex; and have some degree of sen sual subtlety and artistry. Hence the absence of Bad Company’s “Feel Like Makin’ Love,” Color Me Badd’s “I Wanna Sex You Up,” Meat Loaf’s “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” and Tool’s “Hooker With a Penis”—though to each his own.
1
Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)
The Brangelina dustup between married hired killers leads to the most frantic make-up sex ever captured on film. We completely understand why no fewer than a half dozen Pets in the past three years named it the hottest scene.
The Brangelina dustup between married hired killers leads to the most frantic make-up sex ever captured on film. We completely understand why no fewer than a half dozen Pets in the past three years named it the hottest scene.
2
The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)
Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo’s coupling was the Pets’ second favorite scene, with props going to the spontaneous and sensual nature of the lovemaking, as well as to the oh-so-pretty actors.
Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo’s coupling was the Pets’ second favorite scene, with props going to the spontaneous and sensual nature of the lovemaking, as well as to the oh-so-pretty actors.
3
Unfaithful (2002)
This Diane Lane vehicle in which she cuckolds Richard Gere is another winner with the Pets. To get your girl in the mood for loving, put this on and come back after Lane’s trysts with Olivier Martinez, but before the ending (after about an hour and a half).
This Diane Lane vehicle in which she cuckolds Richard Gere is another winner with the Pets. To get your girl in the mood for loving, put this on and come back after Lane’s trysts with Olivier Martinez, but before the ending (after about an hour and a half).
4
Wild Things (1998)
The threesome here with Matt Dillon, Denise Richards, and Neve Campbell is a perennial fave of our Pets—not a huge surprise given their fondness for our monthly girl-girl loving.
The threesome here with Matt Dillon, Denise Richards, and Neve Campbell is a perennial fave of our Pets—not a huge surprise given their fondness for our monthly girl-girl loving.
5
300 (2006)
The smokin’ scene between Gerard Butler and Lena Headey was our fifth popular selection, and the movie has the added bonus of lots of blood and gore to entertain you after you get it on with your heated-up hottie.
The smokin’ scene between Gerard Butler and Lena Headey was our fifth popular selection, and the movie has the added bonus of lots of blood and gore to entertain you after you get it on with your heated-up hottie.
6
Little Children (2006)
Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson getting down and dirty in the laundry room is the high point of this tale of adultery. And of course the lush Winslet continues to hold a special place in our hearts by defying Hollywood’s prejudice against real curves.
Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson getting down and dirty in the laundry room is the high point of this tale of adultery. And of course the lush Winslet continues to hold a special place in our hearts by defying Hollywood’s prejudice against real curves.
7
Out of Sight (1998)
Jennifer Lopez has never been hotter, as far as the Pets are concerned at least, than in a car trunk and in bed with George Clooney in this Steven Soderbergh thriller. The sex scene’s arty back-and-forth between the couple’s role-playing flirt-fest at the bar and in J. Lo’s hotel room reminds us of …
Jennifer Lopez has never been hotter, as far as the Pets are concerned at least, than in a car trunk and in bed with George Clooney in this Steven Soderbergh thriller. The sex scene’s arty back-and-forth between the couple’s role-playing flirt-fest at the bar and in J. Lo’s hotel room reminds us of …
8
Don’t Look Now (1973)
… Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie’s sex scene in this weird flick, which had to be trimmed to avoid an X rating. It’s so beautifully and subtly edited that the question of whether or not the couple was really getting it on can still inspire heated debate.
… Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie’s sex scene in this weird flick, which had to be trimmed to avoid an X rating. It’s so beautifully and subtly edited that the question of whether or not the couple was really getting it on can still inspire heated debate.
9
8 Mile (2002)
The up-against-the-shelves coupling of Eminem and Brittany Murphy, however, is the flip side of those artsy scenes. It’s gritty and realistic, and Murphy is so cutely erotic a thrustee that we can almost completely forget that the thruster is Em.
The up-against-the-shelves coupling of Eminem and Brittany Murphy, however, is the flip side of those artsy scenes. It’s gritty and realistic, and Murphy is so cutely erotic a thrustee that we can almost completely forget that the thruster is Em.
10
Monster’s Ball (2001)
Another favorite for its gritty realism, and of course for Halle Berry’s completely unglam nudity. She’s still lust-worthy, and, as one dude around our office said when he read this list, it’s the perfect choice because she looks like she’s really getting plowed.
Another favorite for its gritty realism, and of course for Halle Berry’s completely unglam nudity. She’s still lust-worthy, and, as one dude around our office said when he read this list, it’s the perfect choice because she looks like she’s really getting plowed.
11
Fight Club (1999)
Yes, Brad Pitt again. Sorry. We’ll get back to Angie in a bit. In this David Fincher flick, he has a nudity-free sex session with Helena Bonham Carter that’s followed by what may be the funniest and most disturbing on-screen postcoital comment ever: “I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.” Nice one, Mr. Fincher.
Yes, Brad Pitt again. Sorry. We’ll get back to Angie in a bit. In this David Fincher flick, he has a nudity-free sex session with Helena Bonham Carter that’s followed by what may be the funniest and most disturbing on-screen postcoital comment ever: “I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.” Nice one, Mr. Fincher.
12
A History of Violence (2005)
Director David Cronenberg has said that he’s proud to have made the first Hollywood movie that actually shows a sixty-nine scene, but the bruising screw on the stairs between Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello is the one that our ladies cite for its raw emotion and eroticism.
Director David Cronenberg has said that he’s proud to have made the first Hollywood movie that actually shows a sixty-nine scene, but the bruising screw on the stairs between Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello is the one that our ladies cite for its raw emotion and eroticism.
13
Basic Instinct (1992)
The pussy shots made Sharon Stone’s career, of course, but she has some seriously hot scenes with Michael Douglas, the leading man who beat David Duchovny to the punch as a self-proclaimed sex addict. Every time he blocks our view of Ms. Stone, we kind of want to take an ice pick to him, too.
The pussy shots made Sharon Stone’s career, of course, but she has some seriously hot scenes with Michael Douglas, the leading man who beat David Duchovny to the punch as a self-proclaimed sex addict. Every time he blocks our view of Ms. Stone, we kind of want to take an ice pick to him, too.
14
9 1/2 Weeks (1986)
Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger gave America a quick course in the link between food and sex….
Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger gave America a quick course in the link between food and sex….
15
Last Tango in Paris (1972)
A lesson that may well have its roots in the scene here in which Marlon Brando uses butter as lube for anal sex with Maria Schneider.
A lesson that may well have its roots in the scene here in which Marlon Brando uses butter as lube for anal sex with Maria Schneider.
16
Bound (1996)
Another Hollywood adventure into kink, something that’s rarely been done so well. Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly are seriously sexy, and completely believable.
Another Hollywood adventure into kink, something that’s rarely been done so well. Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly are seriously sexy, and completely believable.
17
Secretary (2002)
As is Maggie Gyllenhaal in this S&M romance, Exhibit B in great Hollywood moments in kink. No one could possibly be surprised by the presence of this one on our list. It’s pretty much required viewing for our models.
As is Maggie Gyllenhaal in this S&M romance, Exhibit B in great Hollywood moments in kink. No one could possibly be surprised by the presence of this one on our list. It’s pretty much required viewing for our models.
18
Bull Durham (1988)
Exhibit C: Susan Sarandon’s romances with Tim Robbins and Kevin Costner in this love letter to baseball. The light bondage here has shown two decades’ worth of Pets that it’s as good to be tied up as it is to do the tying.
Exhibit C: Susan Sarandon’s romances with Tim Robbins and Kevin Costner in this love letter to baseball. The light bondage here has shown two decades’ worth of Pets that it’s as good to be tied up as it is to do the tying.
19
The Player (1992)
While we’re thinking of Tim Robbins, his sex scene here with Greta Scacchi made it onto a few Pets’ lists. Which is kind of surprising, because if you pay attention, you realize that you can’t really see a thing. Robert Altman was just that good.
While we’re thinking of Tim Robbins, his sex scene here with Greta Scacchi made it onto a few Pets’ lists. Which is kind of surprising, because if you pay attention, you realize that you can’t really see a thing. Robert Altman was just that good.
20
Mulholland Drive (2001)
We still have no idea what the hell David Lynch’s point was with this riddle-wrapped-in-an-enigma of a film, but Naomi Watts and Laura Elena Harring exploring their sudden attraction to each other makes it all worthwhile.
We still have no idea what the hell David Lynch’s point was with this riddle-wrapped-in-an-enigma of a film, but Naomi Watts and Laura Elena Harring exploring their sudden attraction to each other makes it all worthwhile.
21
Laurel Canyon (2002)
Just as the swimming-pool scene between Frances McDormand and Kate Beckinsale makes this one. Fran’s not the most sizzling of sex symbols, but Kate can get pretty much anyone’s libido up and running.
Just as the swimming-pool scene between Frances McDormand and Kate Beckinsale makes this one. Fran’s not the most sizzling of sex symbols, but Kate can get pretty much anyone’s libido up and running.
22
Desperado (1995)
It’s full of quick cuts that make it difficult to see who’s licking what, but not much tops a topless Salma Hayek …
It’s full of quick cuts that make it difficult to see who’s licking what, but not much tops a topless Salma Hayek …
23
Ask the Dust (2006)
… except a totally nude Salma Hayek. Unfortunately, she’s frequently blocked from view by Colin Farrell. Who knew he could be such a gentleman?
… except a totally nude Salma Hayek. Unfortunately, she’s frequently blocked from view by Colin Farrell. Who knew he could be such a gentleman?
24
Alexander (2004)
Farrell also had a memorable scene with a luscious and fully nude Rosario Dawson, who is not in the least bit shy about showing off her assets, and never disappoints.
Farrell also had a memorable scene with a luscious and fully nude Rosario Dawson, who is not in the least bit shy about showing off her assets, and never disappoints.
25
Original Sin (2001)
Not surprisingly, Angelina Jolie made this list more than once. Her sex session with Antonio Banderas in this period piece practically sets the screen on fire. (We found more than one funny comment online wondering how Banderas managed to avoid getting off for real.) Their old-fashioned metal washtub is like the original reality-show hot tub.
Not surprisingly, Angelina Jolie made this list more than once. Her sex session with Antonio Banderas in this period piece practically sets the screen on fire. (We found more than one funny comment online wondering how Banderas managed to avoid getting off for real.) Their old-fashioned metal washtub is like the original reality-show hot tub.
26
Taking Lives (2004)
Angie’s scene here with Ethan Hawke was cited by more than one Pet as being especially steamy. When you check out how the slow seduction quickly shifts into fast and furious fucking, you’ll agree.
Angie’s scene here with Ethan Hawke was cited by more than one Pet as being especially steamy. When you check out how the slow seduction quickly shifts into fast and furious fucking, you’ll agree.
27
Body Heat (1981)
Back in the eighties, this movie elevated Kathleen Turner’s status to Hollywood’s favorite siren. William Hurt’s desperate need to get to her leaves him no choice but to hurl a chair through a window. We can certainly empathize.
Back in the eighties, this movie elevated Kathleen Turner’s status to Hollywood’s favorite siren. William Hurt’s desperate need to get to her leaves him no choice but to hurl a chair through a window. We can certainly empathize.
28
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981)
Another eighties bombshell, Jessica Lange, brought her career back to life by bringing Jack Nicholson to his knees, metaphorically speaking, in another noir remake. The first sex scene, of the pair getting it on atop a flour-covered kitchen table, is unquestionably one for the ages.
Another eighties bombshell, Jessica Lange, brought her career back to life by bringing Jack Nicholson to his knees, metaphorically speaking, in another noir remake. The first sex scene, of the pair getting it on atop a flour-covered kitchen table, is unquestionably one for the ages.
29
The Hunger (1983)
As are the scenes here between Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve. They’re both voluptuous and gorgeous, and the two of them together are incendiary. And of course there’s also the scene when David Bowie and Deneuve pick up partners at a club for a little action, not to mention a nighttime snack.
As are the scenes here between Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve. They’re both voluptuous and gorgeous, and the two of them together are incendiary. And of course there’s also the scene when David Bowie and Deneuve pick up partners at a club for a little action, not to mention a nighttime snack.
30
Indecent Proposal (1993)
Forget the chick-flick soul-mate moments and the incredibly ridiculous premise. Rent this to check out Demi Moore’s tits (your first view should be in chapter two on the DVD) and to watch her and Woody Harrelson screw around on top of 25 grand in cash.
Forget the chick-flick soul-mate moments and the incredibly ridiculous premise. Rent this to check out Demi Moore’s tits (your first view should be in chapter two on the DVD) and to watch her and Woody Harrelson screw around on top of 25 grand in cash.
31
Showgirls (1995)
One of our models picked the swimming-pool scene between Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan, but we have to disagree. Except for Berkley’s impressive rack, this scene has too little heat for us to recommend it. However, the whole flick is good background entertainment for a bachelor party.
One of our models picked the swimming-pool scene between Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan, but we have to disagree. Except for Berkley’s impressive rack, this scene has too little heat for us to recommend it. However, the whole flick is good background entertainment for a bachelor party.
32
Team America: World Police (2004)
For a sex scene that’s laughable in a fun way, we recommend the unedited lovemaking session between marionettes in this film from the creators of South Park.
For a sex scene that’s laughable in a fun way, we recommend the unedited lovemaking session between marionettes in this film from the creators of South Park.
33
Prizzi’s Honor (1985)
Almost as funny are Jack Nicholson and Kathleen Turner when they roll off the bed during sex while barely skipping a, um, beat in this assassins-in-love precursor to Mr. & Mrs. Smith from the legendary John Huston.
Almost as funny are Jack Nicholson and Kathleen Turner when they roll off the bed during sex while barely skipping a, um, beat in this assassins-in-love precursor to Mr. & Mrs. Smith from the legendary John Huston.
34
Lethal Weapon 3 (1992)
And the Smiths’ postcoital comparison of injuries conjures fond memories of this buddy-cop flick’s best scene, in which Mel Gibson and Rene Russo turn their scar stories into foreplay.
And the Smiths’ postcoital comparison of injuries conjures fond memories of this buddy-cop flick’s best scene, in which Mel Gibson and Rene Russo turn their scar stories into foreplay.
35
Pretty Woman (1990)
Yeah, we know, no one has ever seen a Hollywood Boulevard streetwalker who looked nearly as good as Julia Roberts does here. But when she and Richard Gere have sex on the piano in the bar, it’s a stellar Hollywood moment in sort-of-public sex …
Yeah, we know, no one has ever seen a Hollywood Boulevard streetwalker who looked nearly as good as Julia Roberts does here. But when she and Richard Gere have sex on the piano in the bar, it’s a stellar Hollywood moment in sort-of-public sex …
36
Risky Business (1983)
… but still second to the almost-strangers-on-the-train coupling here between Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay. She’s hot as hell, limber and lithe, and experienced but willing to share her knowledge. There is no bad here, for Tom or us.
… but still second to the almost-strangers-on-the-train coupling here between Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay. She’s hot as hell, limber and lithe, and experienced but willing to share her knowledge. There is no bad here, for Tom or us.
37
Titanic (1997)
Now that we’ve entered the realm of the chick flick, there’s no denying the fact that a few of our models have a soft spot for this Leonardo DiCaprio–Kate Winslet film. Or at least for the crotch warming car sex in the cargo compartment.
Now that we’ve entered the realm of the chick flick, there’s no denying the fact that a few of our models have a soft spot for this Leonardo DiCaprio–Kate Winslet film. Or at least for the crotch warming car sex in the cargo compartment.
38
The Notebook (2004)
A couple of Pets even came up with this most chick-ish of chick flicks. We’re happy to report that the deleted scenes on the DVD include one that scorches up the screen, and you don’t even have to sit through the movie!
A couple of Pets even came up with this most chick-ish of chick flicks. We’re happy to report that the deleted scenes on the DVD include one that scorches up the screen, and you don’t even have to sit through the movie!
39
P.S. (2004)
This film only made our list because it made Bella Starr’s: “Topher Grace and Laura Linney weren’t even nude, but the chemistry was electric and hot as hell!” We’ll take her word for it.
This film only made our list because it made Bella Starr’s: “Topher Grace and Laura Linney weren’t even nude, but the chemistry was electric and hot as hell!” We’ll take her word for it.
40
Pam & Tommy Lee: Hardcore & Uncensored (1999)
Our 2007 Pet of the Year, Heather Vandeven, asked, “Does the Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson movie count?” It shouldn’t, but where’s the fun in making a list if we can’t fuck with the parameters?
Tommy’s and Pam’s porn-worthy physical attributes aside, this is fairly pedestrian sex, but it was a truly groundbreaking moment in amateur pornog—er, guerrilla filmmaking.
Our 2007 Pet of the Year, Heather Vandeven, asked, “Does the Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson movie count?” It shouldn’t, but where’s the fun in making a list if we can’t fuck with the parameters?
Tommy’s and Pam’s porn-worthy physical attributes aside, this is fairly pedestrian sex, but it was a truly groundbreaking moment in amateur pornog—er, guerrilla filmmaking.
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very intresting
Comment by ACEKSGOSYDODA — March 20, 2009 @ 7:43 am