There are some seriously strange place-names on this crazy planet of ours. But we’ve got a new favorite.
By Nick Redfern
The Texas town of Bankersmith has just been renamed Bikinis. Say what? Or, rather, say where? Don’t feel bad if you’ve never heard of the place. Hell, we had to Google it, too.
Situated in God-fearing Kendall County (yep, we had to Google that as well), Bankersmith’s origins date back to 1913. And seven years later, it was an absolute hotbed of crazy and wild activity: No fewer than 50 old folks and a post office called it home. By the 1940s, that figure was down to fewer than 40, and the doors of the post office were long shut. As for today, well, it’s pretty much a ghost town.
But that’s all about to change. Babes, bikinis, and bouncing breasts are about to descend on sleepy old Bankersmith. After being advertised for sale on Craigslist (no, we’re not making this up), Bankersmith was purchased by Doug Guller, the brains behind the Bikinis Sports Bar & Grill chain that proudly serves the good folk of Dallas, Austin, and San Antonio.
Mosey on in and you’ll find cold beer, hot food, and even hotter chicks who will be pleased to serve you while waving their barely covered assets in your direction, confirming that the old legend about everything being bigger in Texas is absolutely true.
So, with Bankersmith soon to be transformed, what can we expect to see on display? Well, the old post office is going to become a museum dedicated to the history of the bikini; there will be a resident sheriff in town; and the old, rusty bus that sits around doing not much of anything will be transformed into a bar.
It may have taken a century, but Bankersmith has finally arrived. With a booby-filled bang, y’all.