Carolina-Copia

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, has been transformed into a land of plenty—and an emerging bachelor-party destination.
-By Ken Baron Illustrations by Celia Calle

Order a beer at the Liberty Tap Room in Myrtle Beach and you immediately face a dilemma: The waitress fixes you with a serious look and asks, “Would you like 16 or 20 ounces?”

This is the sort of happy predicament you’ll find yourself in all weekend long in the South Carolina coastline’s land of plenty, where small is large, large is jumbo, and everything—from golf to bars to restaurants to women—comes in glorious excess. It’s a place where you won’t be able to tell your girlfriend back home half of what happens, and the other half you simply won’t remember. Indeed, to visit Myrtle Beach in May or October is to feel as if you’ve entered a strange world where every male you see is a frat-house duffer looking for a lost golf ball and a seafood-stuffed buffet, and every woman is a waitress or a stripper. That all changes in the summer, when families show up in droves for the beach life, but in spring and fall, this coastal tourist town is the perfect destination for a bachelor-party weekend.

Let’s break it down. The primary—but by no means only—attraction in Myrtle Beach is golf. This town is the links capital of the known world. In a dead heat for second place among the city’s diversions are its eclectic collection of restaurants (fine and down-home) and clubs (strip- and night-)—both of which have enjoyed a renaissance of late. Next up are the accommodations, of which there are excellent options, for every budget.

We’ll strip-mine all of the above for the most useful nuggets and pack in some local tips and general rules of thumb for an optimum bachelor party experience in Myrtle Beach. We’ll keep it simple, just like a good bachelor-party weekend should be—hey, if you get too complicated, you run the risk of failing on Job No. 1 of the weekend: keeping the groom-to-be happy.

SWING THOUGHTS
As we’ve said, Myrtle Beach is a golf mecca. The area boasts ten layouts in Golf Digest’s “Top 100 Public Courses in America” list, and more than 30 courses with rankings of 4.5 or higher (out of 5). There are some 100 courses all told, and the place is a magnet for guys from colder climes, who come down on golf-binge buddy trips. Courses are loosely grouped into four tiers. There are a dozen or so top (or Tier 4) courses, including the Dunes Golf and Beach Club, Caledonia, Tidewater, King’s North, the layouts at Barefoot Resort, and the recently renovated Pine Lakes Country Club. Most packages tend to include one or two Tier 4 courses, along with a Tier 3 course, which is still very well regarded, but tends to get less play. Tier 1 and 2 courses, while not world-class, will satisfy dudes just happy to be out on the fairway, whooping it up for the weekend.

Generally, golfers can get four rounds (including one or two Tier 4 courses), hotel, and breakfast each morning for roughly $700 a head.
Tip: When you head out each night, try your best to remember that you have a tee time in the morning. That can be easier said than done. Just ask the amiable Dennis Nichol, head pro at the Dunes Golf and Beach Club. “Over-served” no-shows are common, he says, and then there was the time his very first group of the day showed up at 6:30 A.M., staggering to the tee. “One guy could hardly walk,” says Nichol. “You could smell the alcohol on him. He teed up his ball and whiffed once, then twice, and then dribbled it ten feet. He turned around, went to his car, and passed out. I think he slept there the rest of the day.” Hey, we understand you’re not playing Augusta, but if you came down for some golf, better to be on the fairway than in the parking lot.
Don’t Miss: Pine Lakes Country Club. This classic 1927 design is the granddaddy of all Myrtle Beach courses.

LUSCIOUS LOINS
To be fair to this Southern town, which is filled with welcoming, hard-working family folk, if you weren’t looking for the strip clubs, you wouldn’t know they were there. Of course, if you are, they seem to be everywhere. Big places, with dozens of girls dancing at once—the Penthouse Club, Masters, and Crazy Horse, to name a few—abound, but there are also spots for a cozier, down-home feel, such as Tiffany’s Cabaret on Route 501. Here, a backroom dance feels like the late-inning goings-on of a sizzling date. A quick word about the well-known onstage (or on-pole?) talent in Myrtle Beach: These gloriously beautiful, sunlit creatures are like exotic migratory birds. They glide into town when the town is hopping, and glide out again—to Florida and elsewhere—when it’s not. But never fear: When they’re gone, the local girls take over. And what the locals may lack in plumage, they make up for in, well, a desire to please.
Tip: Be a gentleman, don’t get too wasted, relax, and have a great time.
Don’t Miss: Duh: The Penthouse Club. Try a 30- minute session in the hot tub with a few Penthouse dancers. You and your pals will feel like kings.

UPSCALE, DOWN-HOME
If you visited Myrtle Beach a few years ago and think you know what to expect, you’re in for a surprise. The town was once rightfully nicknamed the Redneck Riviera, and back then a good meal meant chicken wings at Hooters. But that was then. Now, Myrtle Beach has donned a coat of upscale civility, with eateries striving to match the best places along the Pacific Rim or in New York City.

Sushi and Japanese soybeans? You bet: Try Soho, which is renowned for its Asian fusion cuisine. Want a steak place with French dressing to rival Brooklyn’s famed Peter Luger’s? Go to New York Prime, a first-rate steak house serving up USDA Prime beef, seared Pittsburgh-style. The place is filthy rich with ambience and beautiful women. As our waiter Mike put it, “Big-money guys come here. And the girls follow the players. You can see seven or eight beautiful women sitting with two guys.” Another excellent upscale option is Greg Norman’s Australian Grille, which bills itself as “the Upper Crust of Down Under Dining.” Fine dining is all well and good, but you’ll definitely want to mix in some of the earthier old standbys. Chief among these are Bennett’s Calabash Seafood; Crabby Mike’s (if it swims in the ocean, it’s fried up and sitting at the buffet); Dick’s Last Resort, where the waitstaff will have its way with the groom-to-be (outfitting him in a two-foot tall dunce cap); and even Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville will get the job done perfectly on some nights. And hey, why not hit Hooters? Here, waitresses will surround the groom and collectively—and loudly — boo his decision to get hitched.
Tip: Upscale: Medium-rare; cabernet or Bordeaux. Down-home: Deep-fried; cold beer!
Don’t Miss: New York Prime. With its oak-paneled walls, Rat Pack–era jazz, and sophisticated clientele, this is arguably the coolest spot in town.

GETTING HORIZONTAL
Luxury hotels, such as the four-diamond Marina Inn, and fancy apartments have also sprouted up as part of the town’s recent renaissance. That said, a midrange spot, such as the Breakers Resort (downtown), is more than fine for a marauding bachelor-party crew—and not just because the place has its own giant pirate ship built into and around the swimming pool. (Ahoy! Pass the rum!) The Breakers also has a healthy supply of hot tubs, which, for the single guys on the trip, can contribute mightily to the bachelor-party experience.

Though it’s not centrally located, the Legends Resort does brisk business with its Scottish villas (town houses) for groups, and its three golf courses are within walking distance. After your round, you’ll want to hit the resort’s Scottish pub, also within walking distance.

Tip: Share a room. It’ll cut your costs in half (or further, if one of you volunteers to take the floor), and you’re only using the room for sleeping (or passing out) anyway.

Don’t Miss: As we’ve said, your room is mostly just a place to crash, so it’s not a priority, and there are plenty of good options. So we’ll turn this space over to the Spanish Galleon nightclub at the Ocean Drive Resort in North Myrtle Beach. If clubbing is on the menu for your weekend, this joint is open to non resort guests, and it jumps with house, techno, and hip-hop—all under the watchful eyes, and writhing bodies, of hot dancers in cages.

19TH HOLE
Before we send you on your way, we offer three final thoughts to ensure success and lasting memories for any Myrtle Beach bachelor-party getaway: First, rent a limo. The more you drink, the more you’ll be glad you have someone sober at the wheel taking you from club to club. (If you do drive, don’t worry about getting lost. As a veteran of many a Myrtle Beach buddy trip says, “The place is set up so that drunks and seniors can negotiate it with ease.”)

Second, consider a visit to a casino. That’s right, a casino. In South Carolina. Or more accurately, just off the coast of this great state. Sun Cruz Casino, a 200-plus-foot ship that turns into a casino once it hits international waters, offers slots and table games with bets from $5 to $1,000. But a word of caution: The five-hour round trip is not for the faint of stomach—instead of gambling you may end up sitting by the rail, a slightly paler shade of green than the felt on the gaming tables.

Finally, be sure to get a package rate on your rooms and golf. Only the very rich or the very stupid pay full fees in Myrtle Beach. Contact the good folks at Myrtle Beach Golf Holiday; they’ll steer you to a package that fits any budget.

What they can’t do is make sure you get to the first tee on time. That’s what your buddies are for.