Just the FAQs, Ma’am

That male aversion to asking for directions won’t get you anywhere in a sex shop. Lucky for you, we’re shameless. We sent our intrepid girl reporter to track down a few female shop owners and get their off-the-cuff answers to the on-the-job questions men ask most frequently.

Before the arrival of the woman-owned and -operated sex shop in the mid-1970s, only male-oriented adult stores existed. You could catch a dimly lit peep show and enjoy a fat cigar, but you knew one thing for sure: The dude behind the counter wasn’t going to teach you the finer points of using a vibrator on your girlfriend. Today, female-operated shops are one of the best places to get answers
to your sex questions. These are the 12 most common questions guys ask in these sex-friendly establishments.

Is there anything that will make my dick bigger during sex?
“A penis extension sleeve can add girth to your penis and increase its length up to four inches,” says April McKillip, owner of Melrose Urban Female (MelroseUrbanFemale.com). “But because the tip of the sleeve is padded to add length, only your girlfriend will experience sensation.”

A better bet may be the Maverick masturbation sleeve. “It’s designed for solo sex, but if you wear it inside out, exposing its soft, nubby lining, it’ll increase cock size and provide a pantload of feeling to you and your girlfriend during intercourse,” says Claire Cavanah, cofounder of Babeland (Babeland.com).

What can I do to make a condom feel more natural?
Put a small dollop of lubricant inside the tip before you put it on. “That will allow the condom to move freely over the head of your penis, enabling you to feel more tightness and friction,” says Cavanah.
“Customers also rave about Inspiral condoms, which are designed with a big ballooned tip. Guys have told me that they’re the answer to their safe-sex prayers.”

How can I keep from coming too fast?
Try using a cock ring, designed to trap blood in the penis. Cock rings slide over or fasten around the base of your shaft and testicles. “Wearing one may make you stay engorged for longer,” says Cavanah. “Some guys even find that a cock ring keeps them so hard for so long that they’re only able to come by taking it off.”

Does size really matter to women?
“Research suggests that men may care more about penis size than women do, and when you ask women, the majority of them say it isn’t the most important, or even a very important, consideration in what makes a good lover, let alone a good boyfriend,” says Sarah Forbes-Roberts, co-owner of Come as You Are (ComeAsYouAre.com). “It’s easy to fixate on something you can’t change, like penis size, rather than thinking about the things you can, like your ability and willingness to talk with your girlfriend about sex.”

How can I make my girlfriend come during intercourse?
Pay attention to her clitoris. “Most women need clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm,” says Searah Deysach, owner of Early to Bed (Early2Bed.com). While you’re thrusting in and out of your partner, rotate your thumb on her clit or encourage her to touch herself. A small vibrator will get her off, too. Or wear a vibrating cock ring, a stretchy or adjustable leather ring that fits on the base of your penis and has a small vibe attached to it that buzzes the clitoris. Or swap positions. “Many women find that if they’re on top during sex, they can climax more easily by grinding down on their man,” says Deysach.

Is there something my girlfriend can take to make her horny?
Sorry, but there’s no magic pill, potion, or lotion that will drive the ladies wild. Besides, “turning on a woman isn’t something you should want to cut short,” says Deysach. “If you want to amp up your woman’s sex drive, you should tune into her, touch her, and kiss her special parts.”

How can I get my girlfriend to use a vibrator?
“Start with something that won’t scare her,” says Kim Airs, owner of Grand Opening (GrandOpening.com). That means avoiding vibrators that have lots of bells and whistles, like nubs, ridges, and little appendages for clitoral stimulation. “To a novice, these things can be off-putting,” says Airs, who also suggests avoiding vibrators that resemble larger-than-life penises. “If it looks like an enormous phallus, your partner’s immediately going to think, You want to stick that in me?” Instead, choose an innocuous-looking vibe that fits in the palm of your hand. When you use it with your woman the first time, go slow. “Use it on her shoulders, neck, and back first,” says Airs. “Then after she warms up to the sensation, make your way to her stomach, thighs, butt, and beyond.”

If my partner uses a vibrator or a dildo, does she still need me?
“Of course,” says Cavanah. “A sex toy can’t cuddle or bring your girlfriend coffee in bed.” Seriously, though, if you’re the one to suggest that your lover use a dildo or vibe in bed, it may bring the two of you closer. “She’s going to see that you’re concerned about her experience in bed,” says Cavanah.

My girlfriend doesn’t like the way I taste. Is there anything I can I do about that?
Yes—watch what you’re putting in your mouth. “It’s well-known that red meat, garlic, coffee, tobacco, and alcohol make semen taste less than delicious,” says Cavanah. “To improve your flavor, add parsley, mint, or pineapple to your diet. Anything that freshens or sweetens your breath will enhance the way you taste.”

Where’s the G spot?
The G spot is located about one to two inches inside a woman on the front wall of her vagina. To find it, gently insert two fingers inside your partner when she’s aroused, then curl them toward you in a “come hither” motion. Feel that cluster of spongy tissue? G marks the spot. “If you press down on the G spot while stimulating the clit, your partner may have more intense orgasms,” says Deysach.

My girlfriend is afraid of anal sex. How can I convince her to have it with me?
“I always hear women say, ‘Oh, I tried it once and it hurt like hell, so I’m not going to do it again. Period,’ ” says Airs. If that’s the case with your girlfriend, ask her to step back from her painful past ex perience. “Anal sex should never hurt,” says Airs. “The three key words here are communication, relaxation, and lubrication. If you talk about it openly and plan carefully, so she’s completely relaxed before and during penetration, and use gobs and gobs of lube, she may end up getting off on it. Try telling her that she’ll never know how she really feels about it until she does it the right way—with you.”

Why would I ever want to use a butt plug?
For the same reason you might want your girlfriend to stick her finger up your butt: to put pressure on your prostate gland, a sensitive walnut-size sex organ that can be stimulated through the wall of the rectum. “Butt play is the last frontier for straight guys,” says Cavanah. “A butt plug will push on your prostate, making everything feel fuller, so that when you finally come, your orgasm will be over-the-top intense.”