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  • Penthouse FlaskThere’s something about drinking in the great outdoors that turns whiny sissies into genuine badasses’ at least for a while. When the temperature drops, there’s nothing like a little fire in your flask to help you man up.

    MAKER’S MARK
    ($23)
    Bourbon, a corn-based whisky that originated in Kentucky in the 1700s, is officially “America’s Native Spirit” according to a 1964 congressional act. That means it’s pretty much our patriotic duty to enjoy it. We like bourbons with old-school distillation and a vanilla finish, like Evan Williams and Maker’s.

    JAMESON IRISH WHISKEY
    ($28)
    The Irish know a thing or two about whiskey; the very word derives from the Gaelic term for “water of life” for Pete’s sake. Jameson has been around since 1780 “thats 227 winters, math whiz” long enough to prove it’ll get us through this one.

    CROWN ROYAL CASK NO.16
    ($100)
    When the occasion calls for fancy rather than firewater, this blended whisky aged in cognac casks is one of the best. Make fun of our nothern neighbors all you want, but you can add this premium whiskey to the list of fine Canadian exports(right between cheap prescription drugs and Rachel McAdams).

    COURVOISIER EXCLUSIF
    ($50)
    If you prefer to write your name in the snow with a more refined inebriant, take a cue from Busta Rhymes and pass the Courvoisier. This cognac is chocolatey and tastes more expensive than it is, so bring it out to the hot tub and pour some for your honey(s).

    RUSSELL’S RESERVE RYE
    ($25)
    Want to weed out the pussies? A favorite of Humphrey Bogart’s, ryw whiskey tends to be more peppery and bitter then other blends, so it’s not for lightweights. This one comes from the master distiller behind Wild Turkey, so you get the Dirty Bird’s smoothness plus a a 90-proof kick.

    By Abigail Aronofsky

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