Whether you’re looking for tips to improve your performance between the sheets, answers to a question or two, or help with an issue you can’t take to even your most trusted friend, our expert can help. It’s time to get schooled.

By Martin Downs, MPH

Photograph by Roman Märzinger/Alamy

Photograph by Roman Märzinger/Alamy

 

My wife and I are going on a romantic getaway, and we were thinking it might be fun to smoke some pot. Neither of us has ever had sex stoned. Does pot enhance sex, or should we give it a pass?

Pot enhances sex for some, yes, but not everyone, and not always. It’s very unpredictable. To begin with, different strains of cannabis have different characteristic highs: energetic or mellow, body buzz or head buzz, anxious or euphoric, etc. But not everyone responds the same way to the effects of a given bud. After toking the same weed, one person might feel aroused and touchy-feely, while the other just wants to sink into a sofa and doze off.

The main difference is whether being stoned makes you feel more present in the moment and connected with your partner, or more detached and inside yourself. This doesn’t have anything to do with the variety of weed you’re smoking. It’s just how you get when you get stoned. Weed can heighten the physical sensations of sex, but at the same time make you feel like you’re not really there; or the sensations might be too overwhelming to enjoy. That could keep you from having an orgasm or staying aroused. Science has shown that sexual arousal and orgasm require a certain amount of mental focus on erotic stimuli, and the ability to filter out nonerotic thoughts and distractions. If you start to get lost in your head, or if you can’t help grooving on patterns in the wallpaper, then being high probably isn’t enhancing your sexual experience.

I would also say that pot only enhances sex if it makes the experience better for both partners. If one of you says afterward that the sex was amazing but the other says it wasn’t so good, then you should conclude that pot did not enhance the sex.

You can’t really know until you’ve tried it. I would not tell anyone that they absolutely have to try having sex stoned. But if you both want to try it, I wouldn’t tell you to be afraid. The only thing I would caution against is getting high as a way of lowering your sexual inhibitions so you can do things you wouldn’t do sober. Likewise, don’t smoke up in a situation where you could end up doing something risky. Going out and hitting the club solo? Bad idea. On a romantic overnight with your spouse? Sure, why not?

 

From the June 2015 issue of Penthouse