Staying happy, horny, and healthy is the best prescription for an optimum love life.
By Victoria Zdrok, Ph.D.
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Hit the gym. Physical exercise boosts levels of endorphins, the feel-good hormones, as well as testosterone, the hormone responsible for sexual desire and performance. Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise three times per week.
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Give your love muscle a workout. Pelvic exercises, also known as kegels, improve ejaculatory control in men and enhance orgasms in men and women. Start by locating your PC muscle, which you use to stop and start the flow of urine. Then just squeeze as hard as you can and hold for three to five seconds, release, and relax for five seconds. This will have the most impact if you do a dozen or more repetitions three or four times a day.
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Get some rays. Moderate sun exposure puts you in the mood for sex by causing your body to release the pleasure endorphins as well as the sex-drive hormone testosterone.
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Be a flirt. Whether you’re looking to meet women or are in a long-term relationship, flirting will undoubtedly enhance your sex life. Give her suggestive compliments, casually touch her when you walk by, and give her long sultry looks. Flirting stimulates your sexual desires—and hers, too!
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Try something new. Alter something about yourself from time to time, whether it’s how you dress or how you trim your beard, and vary your sexual script by trying new sexual positions and places and exploring new sexual techniques.
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Enjoy erotica. When used in moderation, porn definitely enhances your sex life. But don’t bring out your collection the minute you get her in your bedroom. Many women are not turned on by stereotypical male-oriented porn. She might prefer reading explicit romance novels together, or listening to erotic audio CDs, or watching couple-oriented porn.
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Create the mood. Eroticize your bedroom by putting in dimmer lights and investing in a nice, noncreaky mattress, satin sheets, lots of pillows and mirrors. Consider getting some useful props, such as the Liberator pillows. Turn off all electronic devices. Nothing kills the mood quicker than the sound of your alarm clock or, worse, your mother calling.
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Talk to her. Communication is critical for healthy sexual intimacy. Listen to her sexual desires and tell her about yours. Engage in some active listening—as annoying as it sounds. The payback will be great sex! Staying happy, horny, and healthy is the best prescription for an optimum love life.
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Make sex a priority. Set a sex date, if necessary, because in our crazy-busy schedules, sex often gets put on a back burner. But also be spontaneous about sexual opportunities when they arise. Ask her to join you in the shower. Occasionally skip work or school and take a day-long sexcapade!
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Use good scents. Certain aromas stimulate sexual desire. Essential oils, such as patchouli, sandalwood, ylang-ylang, vetiver, cinnamon, and vanilla, can increase sexual stimulation in men and women. And don’t be afraid to work up a little sweat, too. The pheromones in male perspiration stimulate sexual desire in women.
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Avoid sexual downers. Aspartame (found in many diet foods and soft drinks), caffeine, and alcohol are vasoconstrictors. This means they work against blood flow, including in the genitals. Keep away from such rich foods as turkey, which will turn you into a lazy potato sack. Other common substances that may diminish sexual performance in men: aspirin; antihistamines; over-the-counter cold, allergy, or sinus medicines; potassium nitrate; lemon juice; and vinegar.
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Enjoy foods that boost sexual desire. Honey pro vi des high sustained energy and peanuts increase testos terone levels; they can also be considered aphrodisiacs. Enjoy a peanut-butter sandwich with some tea and honey! Because energy is important for good sex, eat high-protein foods, such as fish, chicken, low-fat dairy products, and beans.
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Take your vitamins. There are natural nutrients your body needs for optimal sexual performance, such as omega-3s in conjunction with an Ester-C supplement, zinc, and vitamin D. These nutrients can aid circulation and overall wellness, leading to better sex. Vitamin E increases oxygen in your system. Your multivitamin also should contain iodine, SOD, selenium, RNA/DNA, manganese, bromelain, L-cysteine, choline, and inositol. Consult a doctor to determine your optimal dosage.
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Review your options. If you feel bored or turned off by sex, try sublimating your sexual energy by taking up a new hobby or finding a new passion in life. Or it may be time to make changes—whether it’s finding a more suitable partner, starting an exercise routine, or seeing your physician, shrink, or sex coach.
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Get touchy-feely. Physical touch is an immense turn-on for both of you. Hug her until she gets totally relaxed in your arms. Let her break contact. Give each other sensual massages.
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Lose the TV. Studies have shown that couples who have a TV in the bedroom have half the amount of sex as couples who don’t. Disconnect the cable and use the DVD player to watch erotica—preferably one you made with your honey.
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Go green. There are numerous herbs and natural remedies that have been found to enhance libido, such as yohimbe bark, arugula, tribulus, damiana, ginseng, ginkgo biloba, kelp, balut, Borojo, maca, and, of course, horny goat weed. But since different people may have different reactions, don’t ingest any of these before you check with your doctor.
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Don’t get smashed. While a small amount of alcohol has a positive effect on arousal, as drinking increases men may have difficulty getting erections, and both men and women may have difficulty experiencing orgasm. Not to mention that while intoxicated you may end up having the sort of sex (read:unprotected) you will regret!
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Become a sexual explorer. Have you always dreamed of having sex in a convertible, trying a threesome, or getting anal stimulation? Drop any embarrassment you may have about the fantasy and share it with her—it will encourage her to open up as well, and maybe even to try it out.
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Love yourself. Masturbation is one of the best things for your mental and physical health. Pleasure yourself during sexual dry spells, because sexual prowess is akin to foreign language—if you don’t use it, you lose it. Practice delaying orgasm by peaking and then allowing your erection to subside, which will allow you to last as long as you want during intercourse. Show your honey how you play with yourself—it will give her fresh new ideas on how to please you better.
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