Q:
I have been unhappily married for seven years, since my early twenties. I stay because of my kids. My wife never wants to have sex and she is usually distant or demeaning. As far as she is concerned, I am a loser who can never make her happy. But I recently met this incredible woman who hinted that she wants to have an affair with me. Ive never been unfaithful, but I am very conflicted. Can you give me some guidance?
A:
Monogamy is not a natural state for mankind, but one which requires considerable effort and sacrifice. All too often, the sacrifice is ones happiness. In your situation, an affair may offer a much-needed release for your pent up sexual and emotional needs, and may give you the strength to resolve this miserable union. But before you get involved with another woman, consider whats at stake.
If you go ahead with the affair, you need to cover your tracks. Always use cash and don’t keep any receipts. Never invite her into your home, or divulge your address or family info. Delete incriminating text messages as soon as they’re received, and try not to use e-mail; even deleted messages can be recovered later.
Come up with simple excuses for your tardiness or absences, and never use friends as alibis without their knowledge. Ask your lover not to wear perfume or heavy makeup, as your wife could easily detect a scent or see smeared cosmetics. And make sure to use protection, an accidental pregnancy or STD is hard to explain.
As for your mistress, be honest and upfront. Don’t promise to leave your wife unless you’re 100 percent sure you will. You’re not there yet! And finally, ditch the guilt. Your wife has played her part in driving you into the arms of another woman.
Victoria Zdrok's combination of beauty and intelligence has earned her the label as "sexpert" in many media outlets. She writes a monthly column on love, sex, and dating for Penthouse Magazine entitled "Ask Dr. Z," and a column on sexuality and the law for Penthouse Forum. She is a frequent contributor to several publications and has her own SIRIUS Satellite Radio specialty show, The Sex Connection, on Howard 101. You can find out more about Dr. Z at www.sexysexpert.com
