Q:
I’ve been married for almost two years and we are trying to conceive a child, but I am having difficulty ejaculating inside my wife. I have always used withdrawal as a birth-control method, and usually either my wife would finish me off manually or I would use my hand. It always worked for us until now, for obvious reasons. She tries to stimulate me manually before putting my penis back inside her, but I usually lose my erection by then. Is it just my habit or is there something more to this? My wife is pressuring me to see a shrink, but I am hoping to resolve it myself.
A:
Your problem is probably physical and psychological. Your penis has become accustomed to manual stimulation. As you know, old habits die hard. You need to stop all masturbation and manual stimulation-no playing with yourself and no handjobs to orgasm. Delay starting intercourse until you are very aroused from foreplay. During intercourse, get into the missionary position and focus on the sensations in your penis, magnifying your arousal as much as you can. If your wife closes her legs on your penis as you pump her, it will increase the friction and make orgasm easier to achieve. You can also further sensitize your penis by applying some Zestra, a botanical arousal oil, topically. Your wife can try massaging your penis with her vaginal muscles. If that doesn’t help, add prostate stimulation during intercourse by having your wife insert her finger or a butt plug into your anus-that should put you over the top! If none of this does the trick, it may be time to shrink your other head, as you may have repressed anxieties over conceiving a child.
Victoria Zdrok's combination of beauty and intelligence has earned her the label as "sexpert" in many media outlets. She writes a monthly column on love, sex, and dating for Penthouse Magazine entitled "Ask Dr. Z," and a column on sexuality and the law for Penthouse Forum. She is a frequent contributor to several publications and has her own SIRIUS Satellite Radio specialty show, The Sex Connection, on Howard 101. You can find out more about Dr. Z at www.sexysexpert.com
