Q:
How do you break up with someone you’ve been with for ten years? Our relationship has never progressed, and when I try to break up with him he punches himself in the face or acts like he’s fainting, freaking me out so I’ll get back with him. I feel trapped, but I don’t want him to throw himself into traffic or something. What should I do?
A:
What you should do is get the fuck out as soon as possible. First of all, you are unhappy and that should be enough reason right there, regardless of how long you have been in this thing. Second, what this guy does to himself is seriously not your problem, and you have to let go of feeling guilty. He is a grown man, and it’s not your responsibility to keep him from doing something stupid. If anything, those are additional signs that point to the fact that this is an unhealthy environment for you. The fact is, you have to take care of your needs, as this relationship isn’t doing that. This guy may hurt himself, and the hard cold truth is that you just may have to learn to accept that fact. As it is, he’s already emotionally taking out the two of you. Move on, and if he takes himself out as a result, at least it’s only one of you.
