Q:
How much do guys think about their current girl’s past history? Does it matter?
A:
I have come to learn that many guys think about it quite a bit! Often, that’s based on the fear of not living up to an old ghost or being less than what the girl may be used to. As I’ve said before, though, worrying about it is pretty useless, as one is the sum of those total past experiences. To love someone includes loving what they’ve been through. It is, after all, part of who they are today.
I have noticed that many people, both men and women, tend to spend a great deal of energy dwelling on their partner’s past: how many people he or she has been with, who he or she has been with, etc. They end up torturing themselves. It’s one of those things that nothing can be done about, and the sooner you can accept that the better. Relationships require an awful lot of work as it is; there’s no need to add extra pressure and stress, especially about something that cannot be changed.
I had a friend who just couldn’t get past the idea of his girl with a specific person. I told him, “Better learn to deal with it, and quick! ’Cause I can guarantee you that there’s someone out there who will be happy to deal with it in your place.”
I am not a licensed therapist, guru, or magic relationship mender. This is sex and love advice from a guy who has seen both failure and success in the relationship department. I am a little jaded, a little disillusioned, a little sarcastic, yet very honest. Answers may be sincere, absurd, comical, or sometimes flat-out wrong. You'll have to consider the source, I suppose.
