Q:
I quit smoking and have gained weight. I don’t feel sexy at all. I am working out and eating right, but I still don’t love the person I see in the mirror. Any thoughts on how to keep things sexy in the bedroom when you don’t feel 100 percent yourself?
A:
Well, it sounds like the one with the issue is you, if your partner is fine with you just the way you are. If that is correct, your whole issue is in your head. Sex while thinking too much is always a bad idea. It should be an escape that brings the two of you closer. Try focusing your attention on your partner and stay away from your brain. It’s dangerous and scary in there! Quitting smoking, eating right, and working out are huge life changes. Feel good about yourself for making those changes and find some self-esteem in that. Then bring that positivity into your bedroom.
I am not a licensed therapist, guru, or magic relationship mender. This is sex and love advice from a guy who has seen both failure and success in the relationship department. I am a little jaded, a little disillusioned, a little sarcastic, yet very honest. Answers may be sincere, absurd, comical, or sometimes flat-out wrong. You'll have to consider the source, I suppose.
