Tired of American girls? Why not venture overseas and graze in foreign pastures?
By Victoria Zdrok, Ph.D.
As someone who was born in the Ukraine, I’m often asked where the world’s hottest girls can be found. Here are some very subjective thoughts on the best overseas locales for American guys to get laid. If some of my observations sound like stereotypes, well, that’s because stereotypes are often true.
MEXICO AND COLOMBIA
Mexican girls are inculcated into femininity at an early age. Their mothers pierce their ears when they are newborns, dress them in pink, and teach them to use makeup by the time they reach high school. They wear body-hugging clothes and love to cook for you. What is the fastest way to get a Mexican or Colombian girl to fall for you? Act extremely sentimental and romantic by staring into her eyes, sighing, giving her flowers, and professing your undying passion for her. Because most Mexican and Colombian women still harbor outdated gender notions, expect to foot the bill on every date if you get into a long-term relationship. They can be intensely argumentative, jealous, and possessive, so watch out for that proverbial Latin temper if you get involved.
ECUADOR
Ecuadorian women are a mixture of Spanish, Indian, and African, and this exotic mix produces some real beauties. Compared to other Latin Americans, they are slightly more aloof and may require more work to get into bed, but once there, they are passionate and uninhibited lovers. You will definitely be a popular catch, as there is a positive social status associated with hooking up with a foreigner; there are plenty of bars and clubs where you will have no trouble meeting Ecuadorian hotties.
GERMANY
German women are raised with an egalitarian attitude, so they hate men who come across as overly dominant. They appreciate tact, romance, and courtship. Women often make the first move, and they often split your beer tab! There is also an unspoken rule of no sex till the third date—but pretend you don’t know anything about that, of course. If you are looking for quick sex, not romance, you can always avail yourself of Germany’s blossoming sex industry. Hamburg’s Reeperbahn is the most notorious in the country for live sex shows and wild sex shops, and the Herbertstrasse, a street that runs parallel to it, is open only to men over 18—this is where you will find working girls in every storefront window. Prostitution is totally legal here, and working girls pay taxes and get health checks every two months, so sex is both safe and satisfying.
FRANCE
American men have traditionally been very successful with French women, particularly if they can speak a bit of Français. French women view American men as warm, exuberant, and virile, like many American actors, so try to live up to that expectation. When it comes to sex drive, French women live up to their stereotype: Surveys show that French people have, on average, more sex than the rest of the world. You can probably kiss her on the first date, but take your time before getting into the deep-tonguing action. The “French kiss” is actually referred to as “Hollywood” kissing in France, presumably because that’s the way they kiss in American movies—which is too aggressive and not sensuous enough for the French.
HOLLAND
If you can’t get laid in Amsterdam, you might as well become a monk. Dutch women are extremely hot and uninhibited, and most of them speak some English. These tall, blonde beauties are fascinated with Americans, and most of them are receptive to a friendly conversation, particularly if you share a joint with them (pot is legal in Holland, and there are many cafés where marijuana is sold and smoked). If dating a Dutch girl seems like too much work, head over to Amsterdam’s red-light district, where there are beauties of all nationalities (particularly Eastern European, Dominican, and Greek) on display in the windows. Don’t be shy—walk around for a few minutes, then make your selection by coming up and knocking on the door. Once she answers, tell her what you want and she’ll tell you the price (services
start at about $50). All prostitutes in the red-light district get regular health checks, but you should still wear a condom just to be safe.
RUSSIA, UKRAINE, AND BELARUS
Dating Russian women is as easy as it gets for an American guy—no wonder there are so many mail order-bride services set up in the former Soviet Union. Women are gorgeous, and they work hard to impress men by dressing sexy and wearing high heels virtually all the time. Many of them are well-educated and speak English. Because almost 20 million Russian men were killed in World War II, women have long worked hard to compete for scarce male attention, and that attitude is still in effect today. Plus, due to widespread alcoholism among Russian men, Russian women definitely prefer American men because they drink less, treat their women with more respect, and make more money. She will also enjoy it if you use a few words of endearment, such as milaya or lybimaya, which means darling in most Slavic languages. Gender attitudes are less egalitarian here by European standards men are expected to approach women and to pay for everything. Prostitution is also widespread in Russia, especially in Moscow, St. Petersburg, and other big cities. There is nothing wrong with some paid-for loving, but beware: There are a lot of cases of foreigners getting drugged and robbed by hookers and their pimps in this part of the world.
CZECH REPUBLIC
The Czech Republic’s women are just as hot as Russia’s, but they have a bit more of a Western flair. They are slightly more independent and emancipated and less likely to be on a husband hunt. You will see some of the most stunning women in Prague, but if you fall in love with one of these hotties, do not expect her to move to the U.S. with you. The inhabitants of Prague are intensely proud of their gorgeous city. This is one place where knowing a bit of world history and geography will score you some major lay points.
JAPAN
Although Japanese society is quite openly erotic in many ways, such as in its massage parlors and kinky pornography, most Japanese women are quite shy and reserved. It will be up to you to make the first move. A good way to strike up conversation is to ask her blood type—in Japan, using blood type to predict a person’s character is a popular practice, and many dating services use this system for their matchmaking (prostitutes will often put this information on the “tart cards” that they use to promote themselves in phone booths and elsewhere). But be cautious—the Japanese are averse to casual touching. That’s the reason why they bow to each other instead of shaking hands. Public displays of affection are taboo, so don’t expect to make out with a girl you just met. But don’t be ashamed to suggest going to the nearest love motel. These motels are often quite elaborate, with themed decors, and are equipped with condoms, mirrors, and sex toys. Most of them are computer-operated to cause less embarrassment to their clients (they run about $60 for a few hours). In bed, most Japanese women act submissively and will follow your lead, but that doesn’t mean they are not sexual. Just the opposite: They are known for being rather orgasmic in bed.
THAILAND
Thailand is a notoriously hot place for getting laid. Indeed, the Thais invented sex tourism. Bangkok is a virtual candy store for most Western men, as it is loaded with the most explicit, most women-packed entertainment in Asia. Sex and strip clubs are everywhere. However, you don’t need a fat wallet to play in Thailand. Many Thai women are very receptive to meeting American men, and they are willing to top off a date with a night in the sack. Yes, they see most Americans as rich, and they aren’t adverse to wheedling some jewelry or gifts from their Western lovers, but everything is cheap in Thailand. You can get a lot of nookie for a little cash. Moreover, Thai girls don’t mind if you are nerdy-looking or a little overweight. A potbelly is a sign of good health in Asia—why do you think Buddha statues always show him with a big belly? And if you want two or more babes in your bed, Thai women often will arrange it for you. They are brought up to believe that a woman’s duty is to please her man in bed, so anything that brings you pleasure falls within that. One caveat: Make sure you verify her age before you get in her panties—Thailand is infamous for its underage prostitutes with pimps who will engage in extortion.
KOREA
Although Korean women are often considered among the world’s most beautiful, they are also among the hardest to seduce, because many prefer to date Korean men exclusively. Fortunately, there are plenty of women who will date foreigners, and the best place to meet them is in a bang—and no, I don’t mean that kind of bang. Bang is the Korean word for room, and there are several types. A DVD bang is a room where you can rent videos and watch them on a big screen TV. These are usually found in university settings and frequently used as make-out spots. A PC bang is a place to surf the Web or play video games. They are usually dark, smoky, and considered great places for pickups. A norebang is a karaoke room. A sarang bang is basically a love motel where rooms can be rented by the hour; most of them have credit-card machines in lieu of a reception desk. Some of the rooms are extremely fancy, with recessed lighting and vibrating beds. Finally, if you are in the mood for some quick, upscale sex, you can check out a room salon, which is an expensive establishment where women will entertain you, wine and dine you, and act like they really, really like you—for the right amount of money, of course.
MOROCCO
Moroccans are more liberated than most Muslim women—women actually wear tight jeans in Morocco. But due to high emphasis on family, dating a Moroccan girl means dating her whole family—you will be pressured to marry her and to bring them all home to live with you.
