You found a girl who seems up for a one-night stand. Now you need to know how to pull off the perfect hit-and-run.
HEAR AND NOW
Women always complain that men don’t listen, so if you come across as the guy who does, she’ll want to continue the conversation after leaving the bar—hopefully in her bedroom. Research shows that when women engage in heartfelt discussions, their brains release the attachment hormone oxytocin, the same hormone released after orgasm that gives her that warm and fuzzy feeling, so reveal little about yourself and let her talk to her heart’s content. To come across as a real “listener,” employ the technique used by shrinks: Paraphrase what she’s saying to “reflect” her feelings. If she says she just relocated from another town, commend her on her brave move and say, “It must have taken a lot of courage to leave your family behind and move here on your own.”
Women yearn to be in the arms of someone who makes them feel comfortable. To establish a bond, begin referring to the two of you as “we” in a casual manner. Say things like, “Is it just me, or are we the only folks here who don’t look like we’re trying out for Dancing With the Stars?” Look for buzzwords or word-hooks that you can use to create shared attitudes. If she says, “It’s crowded in here,” you should use “crowded” as a hook, adding something like, “Yeah, I don’t like crowds either.”
THE FINISHING TOUCH
Establish yourself as a “physical” guy from the beginning. When you shake her hand, let it linger. During conversation, nonchalantly touch her palms, arms, back, and thighs, and observe her reaction. Ask her to dance, then lean in and whisper in her ear. Remember, it’s the light, fleeting touch that’s the most erotic and suggestive, so stay away from grabbing or feeling her up. Tell her how much you love giving massages, and offer to demonstrate your knowledge of acupressure points. (As an excuse to touch her, it might be worth learning a few of them.)
But keep in mind that while you are building sexual tension through innuendo and fleeting touches, you should avoid appearing overly eager to get her in the sack. Obvious lustfulness is a turnoff—women don’t want a guy who acts like a Pavlovian dog salivating at the sight of meat. If you feel yourself getting too invested in the outcome, just tell yourself that you can always get it somewhere else some other time. If she stalls, act aloof and play hard to get. By becoming a “distancer,” you can frequently turn a woman into a “pursuer.”
HOME RUN
The prime location for a onenighter is her place. If she is staying at a hotel, that’s where you should seduce her; otherwise, ask her a few casual questions to discern her living situation. Does she live alone? Does she have to work the next morning? If she mentions any hobbies or collections (such as her favorite music, book, or movie), express eager interest in seeing it. She’ll feel much safer and more comfortable in her own apartment, and you’ll be able to make a clean exit if you don’t feel like sleeping over. Many hot women, however, are secretive about their homes—after all, what if you turn out to be a loser who’s prone to stalking? Some women may be living with a roommate or a boyfriend, so don’t push the issue if she is not forthcoming with an invitation to her place. If you can afford it, offer to have drinks at a nice hotel nearby so you can get a room if she seems interested.
If your place is clean and relatively neat, with fresh sheets and no intrusive roomies, then that’s your second-best option. Carry a conversation piece that is related to items you have at home; it will give
her a good excuse to come over. This could be a silver chain around your neck or a pair of unusual cuff links that will prompt conversation about your artifacts from Mexico. Or you can carry a digital camera in your pocket so you can talk about your photograph collection. Many women want to maintain the pretense of spontaneous intimacy and a heat-ofthe-moment decision rather than a planned sexual encounter, so giving her a nonsexual excuse to come to your home will turn this into a game of seduction. If neither of you has a place that’s appropriate and the weather is good, you can always opt for alfresco sex.
PLEASE PLEASE HER
Women do not have the same urgency for sexual release as guys do. While you’re just happy to get laid, even if the sex is mediocre, a woman willing to sleep with a stranger is looking for good sex. I like a guy who announces in advance that he will do whatever it takes to give his partner an orgasm every time—and if you make sure she comes first (or at all), you might be able to turn her into a regular booty call. And don’t slack off just because you don’t plan to see her again. Never forget that women talk, and if you’re great in bed, the word might get around to her hot girlfriends.
DEVISE A SAFE EXIT STRATEGY
If you want to leave right after sex, you need a good exit plan. Have a good reason ready if she asks why you’re taking off—and it better not be that your wife is expecting you home. If you stay overnight, don’t try to sneak out before she wakes up. It’ll backfire if she wakes up while you’re tying your shoes. But if you are caught escaping, have a good excuse prepared for your early-morning rush (like you were so into her that you forgot about an important breakfast meeting). That way, neither of you will be too embarrassed if you accidentally leave something behind that you need to retrieve, or if you run into her later. If you score at your place, have a reason ready for why she can’t stay over (that important morning meeting works again!) and put it out there early, not postcoital—that leaves you free to start up a second or third round of lovemaking!
MIND YOUR MANNERS
Always thank your lover for a good time, even if she turned out to be a lousy lay. If you’re grumpy in the morning, blame it on a hangover and be sure to compliment her, even if that ten at two looks like a rumpled two at ten. Unless you’re looking for more than a one-nighter, don’t stay for breakfast—that creates expectations and the need for small talk. Make a perfunctory exchange of phone numbers or, better yet, e-mail addresses, and never be rude. We can’t say this enough: She has friends, and women talk. If you’re a morningafter jerk, her girlfriends will know about it and you’ll never score with them. On the other hand, if you act like a prince, you may end up with a harem of hot chicks panting at your pants.
