There is a great truth to the saying “Men fall in love with their eyes; women, with their ears.” Be careful, though. These phrases are of little use to you if you’re looking to keep things casual.
-By Victoria Zdrok, Ph.D.
10. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
This shows her that you are a thoughtful kind of guy who cares about her well-being and is interested in listening to her. Exhibiting empathy and compassion for any troubles she wants to confide in you will always win you points, but even a nod or an occasional “uh-huh” while she natters away will convince her that you are attentive to her as a person.
9. HOW DO YOU FEEL?
Whenever possible, try to elicit her feelings on various topics—this will definitely earn you extra “sensitivity” points. When she is complaining about her boss being a jerk, follow up with a shrinklike, “How does it make you feel?” Before making plans to go out, ask her, “How do you feel about [us going to a movie, visiting my mother, etc.]?” Women always feel attracted to someone who will lift the burden of their emotions, and becoming her confidant will make you indispensable in her life and guarantee you a warm spot in her bed.
8. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?
Women appreciate men who are proactive problem-solvers—instinctively, they sense that such men would be good providers and fathers. Most of the time the things a woman is fretting about are out of your control, and she’ll probably respond with “nothing, but thanks anyway.” However, she will remember that you were willing to help.
7. YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL.
Women know they are often judged on their physical appearance, so they judge themselves on this basis. Thus, when it comes to complimenting her looks, you can never overdo it. Tell her how sexy she looks, and how much you desire her—in long-term relationships, you can get quite graphic. Complimenting her fine ass when you first meet might earn you a slap on the cheek, but doing so when you’ve been together for a while will earn you an extra-hot roll in the sack!
6. YOU’RE SO SMART. I NEVER KNEW THAT!
Women love it when men appreciate them for more than their looks—after all, they know their looks won’t last forever. Showing your appreciation of her intelligence, talent, creativity, perseverance, or other nonphysical qualities tells her that you are not a shallow horn dog, but may be playing for keeps.
5. SHE’S JUST A BRAINLESS BIMBO.
Face it—women are competitive and catty by nature and derive great pleasure from denigrating other women, particularly those they perceive as rivals. Use this approach any time you think she’s feeling insecure around some woman. And if she asks you, “Do you think that girl is hot?” always reply, “Not really,” or, “Yeah, but you’re much hotter!”
4. YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND.
Telling her that you value her as a friend instantly alleviates her anxiety of being just your sex buddy. It promotes the kind of intimacy and shared confidences she wants in a relationship. Save this line until you’re in a sexual relationship, though, because you don’t want her to think you view her platonically.
3. I LOVE YOU.
Those three little words in a woman’s ear are like a fix to a heroin addict. No matter what your transgression, saying those words atones for all your sins. And on Valentine’s Day, they are more powerful than cards or chocolates. But make sure to deliver them with the right impact: Mumbling “I love ya” as you watch a game will not do the trick. To make her melt, draw her close to you, look deeply in her eyes, and whisper, “I love you so much!”—just like they do in those cheesy chick flicks. No matter how much she may think of herself as a tough-minded feminist, hearing that will get her wobbly in the knees and wet between the thighs.
2. YOU ARE MY ONE AND ONLY.
Any combination of “love,” “together,” “always,” and “forever” will also do the trick—no wonder they are the most frequently encountered words in pop songs! If you want to take the sappiness to the next level, tell her that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, but expect her to start seeing rings—as in promise and engagement diamond circlets—after hearing that phrase.
1. WE’D HAVE CUTE BABIES TOGETHER.
The idea of motherhood is intimately tied to her sexual desires and her feelings about relationships. But use this one only if you truly mean it, as it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy if she “accidentally” forgets to take her birth control pills.
