I used to date a girl at work, until she broke my heart and started seeing someone else. Partly out of retaliation and partly out of loneliness, I began to date another coworker. Now my ex is weirded out and causing me grief. Any advice?
Um, yes. Fuck her. I don’t care what your reasons are for dating someone else, or whether or not they are altruistic. This girl has absolutely no right whatsoever to have a say in or reaction to anything you do. This is her problem, not yours. She made the bed, let her lie in it—provided the sheets are stained with the after smear of the sex you’re having with the new girl. Your ex sounds like a self-centered and uncaring egotist who has to make everything about her. If she can’t handle the stress of the situation she created, she can talk to her friends, not you.
You do share part of blame in this, however: You’re letting her cause you grief. Allow me to give you your new mantra: “This is her problem, not mine.” Say that over and over until you believe it, and find solace in the fact that you obviously dodged a major bullet when she dumped you.