Q:
My wife is a successful professional and a wonderful mother to our two kids, and she also loves to cook and keep our house in immaculate condition. All of this is great, but she seldom has any time for sex during the day, and at night she is always exhausted. How can I get her to be more interested in sex when we both finally hit the sack?

A:
Many guys mistakenly think that women are just like men, i.e., that they can work all day, watch a ball game, down a six-pack, and then be ready for intercourse as soon as the lights go off. However, unlike the male sex drive, which is spontaneous, female desire is more receptive in nature-which means it requires some priming. Get her in the mood for sex by keeping it in her mind throughout the day: Leave her sexy voice messages and e-mails, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, and hug and kiss her whenever you get a chance. A little kiss on the back of her neck while she is stirring the soup may keep her stirred up until bedtime!

Be sure to tell her how sexy she looks and what you would like to do to her-using your own private slang if the kids are around. Talking about sex while you’re in the kitchen or dining room is like having sex in public places-it spices up the atmosphere and builds her anticipation.

If you sense she is really tired, draw her a bubble bath or offer to give her a massage before bed. Tell her you wanted to ravish her while she was making dinner or vacuuming the house but you held off, knowing that she wanted to finish the chore. You can even tell her that you got so hard while watching her that you couldn’t help fondling your dick and thinking about making love to her.

If you are too lazy to tend to her libido’s needs, hire a nanny and a housekeeper so your wife can save most of her energy for sex!

You found a girl who seems up for a one-night stand. Now you need to know how to pull off the perfect hit-and-run.

HEAR AND NOW
Women always complain that men don’t listen, so if you come across as the guy who does, she’ll want to continue the conversation after leaving the bar—hopefully in her bedroom. Research shows that when women engage in heartfelt discussions, their brains release the attachment hormone oxytocin, the same hormone released after orgasm that gives her that warm and fuzzy feeling, so reveal little about yourself and let her talk to her heart’s content. To come across as a real “listener,” employ the technique used by shrinks: Paraphrase what she’s saying to “reflect” her feelings. If she says she just relocated from another town, commend her on her brave move and say, “It must have taken a lot of courage to leave your family behind and move here on your own.”

Women yearn to be in the arms of someone who makes them feel comfortable. To establish a bond, begin referring to the two of you as “we” in a casual manner. Say things like, “Is it just me, or are we the only folks here who don’t look like we’re trying out for Dancing With the Stars?” Look for buzzwords or word-hooks that you can use to create shared attitudes. If she says, “It’s crowded in here,” you should use “crowded” as a hook, adding something like, “Yeah, I don’t like crowds either.”

THE FINISHING TOUCH
Establish yourself as a “physical” guy from the beginning. When you shake her hand, let it linger. During conversation, nonchalantly touch her palms, arms, back, and thighs, and observe her reaction. Ask her to dance, then lean in and whisper in her ear. Remember, it’s the light, fleeting touch that’s the most erotic and suggestive, so stay away from grabbing or feeling her up. Tell her how much you love giving massages, and offer to demonstrate your knowledge of acupressure points. (As an excuse to touch her, it might be worth learning a few of them.)

But keep in mind that while you are building sexual tension through innuendo and fleeting touches, you should avoid appearing overly eager to get her in the sack. Obvious lustfulness is a turnoff—women don’t want a guy who acts like a Pavlovian dog salivating at the sight of meat. If you feel yourself getting too invested in the outcome, just tell yourself that you can always get it somewhere else some other time. If she stalls, act aloof and play hard to get. By becoming a “distancer,” you can frequently turn a woman into a “pursuer.”

HOME RUN
The prime location for a onenighter is her place. If she is staying at a hotel, that’s where you should seduce her; otherwise, ask her a few casual questions to discern her living situation. Does she live alone? Does she have to work the next morning? If she mentions any hobbies or collections (such as her favorite music, book, or movie), express eager interest in seeing it. She’ll feel much safer and more comfortable in her own apartment, and you’ll be able to make a clean exit if you don’t feel like sleeping over. Many hot women, however, are secretive about their homes—after all, what if you turn out to be a loser who’s prone to stalking? Some women may be living with a roommate or a boyfriend, so don’t push the issue if she is not forthcoming with an invitation to her place. If you can afford it, offer to have drinks at a nice hotel nearby so you can get a room if she seems interested.

If your place is clean and relatively neat, with fresh sheets and no intrusive roomies, then that’s your second-best option. Carry a conversation piece that is related to items you have at home; it will give
her a good excuse to come over. This could be a silver chain around your neck or a pair of unusual cuff links that will prompt conversation about your artifacts from Mexico. Or you can carry a digital camera in your pocket so you can talk about your photograph collection. Many women want to maintain the pretense of spontaneous intimacy and a heat-ofthe-moment decision rather than a planned sexual encounter, so giving her a nonsexual excuse to come to your home will turn this into a game of seduction. If neither of you has a place that’s appropriate and the weather is good, you can always opt for alfresco sex.

PLEASE PLEASE HER
Women do not have the same urgency for sexual release as guys do. While you’re just happy to get laid, even if the sex is mediocre, a woman willing to sleep with a stranger is looking for good sex. I like a guy who announces in advance that he will do whatever it takes to give his partner an orgasm every time—and if you make sure she comes first (or at all), you might be able to turn her into a regular booty call. And don’t slack off just because you don’t plan to see her again. Never forget that women talk, and if you’re great in bed, the word might get around to her hot girlfriends.

DEVISE A SAFE EXIT STRATEGY
If you want to leave right after sex, you need a good exit plan. Have a good reason ready if she asks why you’re taking off—and it better not be that your wife is expecting you home. If you stay overnight, don’t try to sneak out before she wakes up. It’ll backfire if she wakes up while you’re tying your shoes. But if you are caught escaping, have a good excuse prepared for your early-morning rush (like you were so into her that you forgot about an important breakfast meeting). That way, neither of you will be too embarrassed if you accidentally leave something behind that you need to retrieve, or if you run into her later. If you score at your place, have a reason ready for why she can’t stay over (that important morning meeting works again!) and put it out there early, not postcoital—that leaves you free to start up a second or third round of lovemaking!

MIND YOUR MANNERS
Always thank your lover for a good time, even if she turned out to be a lousy lay. If you’re grumpy in the morning, blame it on a hangover and be sure to compliment her, even if that ten at two looks like a rumpled two at ten. Unless you’re looking for more than a one-nighter, don’t stay for breakfast—that creates expectations and the need for small talk. Make a perfunctory exchange of phone numbers or, better yet, e-mail addresses, and never be rude. We can’t say this enough: She has friends, and women talk. If you’re a morningafter jerk, her girlfriends will know about it and you’ll never score with them. On the other hand, if you act like a prince, you may end up with a harem of hot chicks panting at your pants.

Here’s your guide to banging in the great outdoors. Pack up your mosquito repellant, stuff a six-pack in your cooler, and grab your girl for a whirl in the wilderness!

As the days grow longer and the weather gets warmer, it’s time to start thinking about our favorite alfresco activity. In fact, outdoor sex is healthy as well as fun. The fresh air you inhale as you make love gets more nitric oxide into your lungs, dilating blood vessels all over your body, including your genitals-resulting in more potent erections!

However, before you get bareassed in the summer breeze, here are some open-air do’s and don’ts for wannabe nature boys and girls.

Sex in the sun can be unforgettable in both good and bad ways—so bone up, so to speak, on the following caveats and you’ll be sure to have a perfect summer of love.

BACK-TO-NATURE NOOKIE
DO:
Get out the camping gear. There’s nothing like some cozy cuddling in one of those oversize sleeping bags. The stars, the crackling campfire, the cries of prowling predators, and the dark mysteries of the wilderness will bring out that primordial passion in both of you!
DON’T:
Have her play with your pee-pee outside your teepee if it’s pitched in a public campground. Getting caught in flagrante delicto by kids could land you in some serious trouble. In fact, make sure
you’re secluded from both minors and seniors. The last thing you want is coitus interruptus caused by the need to resuscitate an elderly man in cardiac arrest.

AUTO EROTICA
DO:
Use your car for sexy enjoyment of backcountry roads, woods, and parks. You can do her inside the car in the woman-on-top position (do not even attempt missionary unless you have seats that recline all the way), seated on top of the hood with her legs wrapped around your waist, or doggie-style with her bent over the trunk of the car. You can even leave the engine running—the humming vibrations will add to her excitement. (Think of it as one big vibrator!)
DON’T:
Try this trick while the vehicle is moving. No matter how tempting it may seem to have her play with your fleshy stick shift or to get a blowjob while you are cruising along at 80 miles an hour, remember speed + sex is never safe. All it takes is one second of lost control and you will exemplify
the French nickname for orgasm, la petite mort—“the little death.” Plus, if you get pulled over, there’s no way to avoid a ticket if a sweat-soaked, hardworking police officer sees your pants down around your ankles.

BENCH WARMING
DO:
Sneak a quickie in a park or botan ical garden. Benches are perfect for this—have her wear a short flared skirt with no panties, sit her on your lap, then unzip your pants and impale her on your hard member. If you spy a pesky passerby, tell her to stop moving and sit still. If they don’t look too closely, she’ll look like she’s sitting innocently on your lap.
DON’T:
Do it in a flower bed unless you get turned on by bee stings or ant bites. Also, stay away from freshly cut grass to avoid a grass burn. Grass and flower beds may also contain pesticides, so make sure that neither of you is allergic before doffing your duds on the greensward.

ROCK THE BOAT
DO:
You can try it in a rowboat, a speedboat, a sailboat, or a yacht if you can afford it. There’s nothing like an orgasm on a rocking boat, and an ocean breeze adds to your arousal!
DON’T:
Surprise her with a major boat trip without first checking whether or not she gets seasick—unless you have an upchuck fetish.

GET HER WET
DO:
Get wild in a pool, hot tub, or Jacuzzi, as the buoyancy adds to sexual pleasure. Jacuzzi jets have the added advantage of being a built-in stimulator-just lean her against one while doing her from behind.
DON’T:
Forget lubrication and protection-water adds friction, so make sure to have a lubricant handy, and you can’t rely on salty or chlorinated water to act as a spermicide. And don’t even ask
if it’s possible to get her pregnant by withdrawing and ejaculating in the water—that could depend on whether or not your spermatozoids have spatial orientation, and I really don’t recommend conducting an empirical investigation.

MAKE WAVES
DO:
Create some waves in a natural body of water, such as a river, lake, or ocean. Pull her swimsuit to the side and slip it in, or go skinny-dipping if you have enough privacy.
DON’T:
Attempt watery sex if you can’t swim, particularly if there is the possibility of an undercurrent. And don’t leave your valuables out of sight and unattended—a lesson I learned from personal experience.

SEX ON THE BEACH
DO:
It’s classic, naughty, and the stuff of romance novels and her fantasies.
DON’T:
Forget to do it on a towel or jacket if you’re going at it on the sand; it will prevent nasty genital abrasions and sand-flea attacks. Another way to prevent those pesky sand grains from making their way into her love canal is to do it doggie-style.

Dr. Victoria Zdrok will be answering phones today Sept. 25th from 12-2pm EST. When you place your phone order with PenthouseStore.com Penthouse Sexpert, Dr. Z will on hand to take calls.

If you haven’t read her sex tips, toy choices or advice columns…you should definitely visit her at: PenthouseMagazine.com/DrZ

We get it. You’re not into commitment and longterm relationships at this stage in your life; you just want to score some raunchy sex with a hot babe. There’s nothing wrong with that, and—believe it or not—there are plenty of smokin’ girls looking for a night of passionate sex with no strings attached. The trick to a successful one-nighter is finding the perfect Ms. Right Now. And while finding a sex-seeking hottie in a crowd of women with romance on their minds may seem like an impossible task, you can zero in on the free spirits if you know what to look for, both in looks and behavior.

THE LOOK
Dressed to thrill
Here’s a good rule of thumb: The more skin she shows, the more skin you’re likely to get by night’s end. This seems like common sense, but scientific research consistently shows that sexually adventurous women tend to wear skimpier clothing than their more repressed companions. One study showed that ovulating women are more likely to dress provocatively, but beware that biological imperative and make sure you’re safe; women may not realize it, but they get hornier at this time of the month because it’s when they’re most likely to get pregnant. A sexily dressed woman feels good about her body and may even be a bit of an exhibitionist, whereas a self-conscious woman is unlikely to feel comfortable enough to undress in front of a stranger. Don’t waste your time on the sexy librarian in the turtleneck—go for the girl in the low-cut tank and barely there miniskirt.

The devil is in the details
If she has a manicure and pedicure, she’s been to the salon; she may also have a fresh Brazilian wax to show off. And if she’s got tattoos and piercings, she has a wild streak that bodes well for you. A tongue piercing is espe cially good—she prob ab l y likes to demonstrate her oral prowess.

THE BEHAVIOR
Alone in a crowd
When a woman is alone at a nightclub or a bar, she is most likely looking for a hookup. This is good for you, as you won’t have to deal with resistance from her buddies, and good for her, since she won’t have to put up with disapproving glances or follow-up questions from her girlfriends. If you are checking out a group of women, go after the least attractive one. She’ll be flattered and appreciative, since she rarely gets the attention when she’s out with her friends. Or look for the one who seems left out of the clique. She’s ready to be rescued.

Dirty dancing
If you’re in a dance club, look for a girl who is shaking it like a milkshake on the dance floor. She knows how to move, and she’s comfortable with a lot of male attention-two solid indicators that she’s up for a one-night stand. The conventional wisdom that a woman who’s a good dancer is good in bed is commonly believed because there’s truth in it. Dance really is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.

HUNTING GROUNDS
Trap the tourists
We’ve all felt the appeal of sex with a stranger while away from home and our more censorious friends. Foreign tourists, in particular, often look to sample the legal goods because they know that when they get back their friends will ask, “So, did you hook up with any Americans? How do they compare?” Foreign college students often make good targets. (Trust me, I was one!) If you don’t live in a tourist town, check out conventions in your area, which are usually held at big hotels. Traveling businesswomen frequently get lonely and go looking for a little no-strings-attached companionship once they’re away from gossiping colleagues.

THE PREY
Go cougar hunting
Don’t just target pretty young things. Research shows that women in their thirties and forties are hornier and more likely to reach orgasm than women in their twenties. Hot-looking 50-year-olds on the prowl are an even easier target. They’re less likely to get a lot of male attention, so they frequently adopt a carpe noctem (”seize the night”) attitude. And don’t forget MILFs. They already have kids, so they’re not looking at you as a potential father. In fact, MILFs are likely to care more about the bulge in your jeans than the quality of your genes.

Q:
I recently met this great girl, and I thought she was really falling for me. The sex is awesome and we have a lot in common. The problem is, she broke up with her boyfriend right before she met me (actually, he walked out on her), and now he’s begging her to get back together. Now she’s confused and says she has strong feelings for both of us. What should I do? Pull back and let her miss me, or try harder to pursue her with compliments and gifts? How do I find out who she really loves? Please help, Dr. Z!

A:
She doesn’t love you, my forlorn friend! I hate to be the one to deliver the bad news, but think of me as a surgeon cutting out your festering tumor. You have hooked yourself a rebounder, and this type of
woman always comes with major psychological baggage. She’s only with you because you helped her deal with her heart break while she pined for the jerk who dumped her, then decided to reel her back in.

If you’re a masochist, you can stick around and be the shoulder she cries on, maybe getting some gratitude sex while she fantasizes about her ex. But my advice is to forget about pursuing her. Instead, leave her alone to sort out her own crap while you go out to meet other hot babes—never underestimate the power of jealousy. She’ll desire you more if you are surrounded by attractive opportunities for romance. And if she comes back to you, hopefully it will be because she genuinely likes you, not because she needs someone to help her get over her ex-boyfriend.

Q:
I love to kiss, but my new girlfriend isn’t into it—she says it spreads germs (she’s a total germaphobe). Are there any health benefits to kissing I can cite to convince her it’s good for her?

A:
Your girlfriend is right about the germ exchange. According to one study, more than 40,000 parasites and 250 types of bacteria are exchanged during a typical French kiss. However, some research shows that our saliva actually kills most of these bacteria and that sharing these germs boosts your internal defense system by exposing it to a limited number of these pathogens. But you can assure her that there are numerous other health benefits to kissing:

–  Kissing has been shown to reduce allergic skin responses, improving eczema and other skin conditions.
–  The extra saliva produced during passionate kissing washes bacteria off your teeth, which can help break down oral plaque.
–  Passionate kissing has been shown to burn about two calories a minute, double your resting metabolic rate.
–  Skin-to-skin contact stimulates the production of the hormone oxytocin, which reduces the sensation of fear.
–  Kissing exercises facial muscles, which can help her maintain a youthful countenance.
–  Kissing is often called sensual meditation because it slows down our brain waves, putting us in a more relaxed state of mind.

What: For the guy who wants to immortalize his penis, or to give his girl the “gift that keeps on giving” when he finishes early, there is the Clone-A-Willy Kit. With the kit, or a similar one from Create-a-Mate, a guy can make a mold of his penis and create an exact rubber replica of his mighty dong. Insert a vibrator into the replica, and voila: your cock rocks! For those who have night vision problems, The Clone-A-Willy kit also sells a specially blended Glow-Powder to add to your Liquid Rubber mixture mold to make your dildo glow in the dark.

Why: When you have to go on an out-of-town trip, do you want your wife or girlfriend popping a Johnny Holmes vid in the VCR and dreaming about 12 inches—or do you want her to be reaching for a perfect match to your Johnson to get herself off? And how about those nights when you’ve been out all night drinking with your buddies, or your favorite football team blew it in the 4th quarter, and your babe starts whining for sex? Hand her the clone and a tube of lube; and she’ll never know the difference. I’m sure you can find many more equally creative ways to use a replica of your wanger.

Drawback: To get a good clone, you need to be able to hold a full erection for at least 5 minutes with your cock immersed in gooey, messy stuff. That might prove a little challenging for some of you—unless you have my Pet of the Year issue open while you let your dong make its impression on the goo.

Bonus Points: If you’re between mates for the moment, you can always mount the clone on a little pedestal and display it in your trophy case. Nothing like having a little conversation starter when you bring a date home for a little nightcap!

Where: You can purchase the Clone-A-Willy at PenthouseStore.com
For more info visit CloneAWilly.com or CreateAMate.com

Phallix Glass Toys are artsy colorful dildos, hand made from high quality medical grade Pyrex glass. They come in a wide varieties of colors and designs, some with bumps and swirls on the surface, others with elaborate internal designs, each packaged in a pretty velvet case. Phallix dildos are used just like other dildos, however, they don’t vibrate, bend, rotate or turn any other tricks. They are tougher than most other dildos, so make sure to guide them in slowly. But because they are non-porous, lubes last longer on them than on dildos made from other materials. Their smooth glass surface is easy to clean - you can even stick them into your dishwasher to sterilize them. They are almost impossible to break; and they are supposed to last a lifetime. Because they are really hard, they are great for G-spot stimulation, especially the curved ones. They look great in pictures and are indispensable if you are a budding erotic photographer or just like to play one in your bedroom.

You can also display them in your glass cabinet and tell your naive friends they are a rare work of art by an abstract sculptor. Tell your female friends to go ahead and touch them because this glass art was meant to be functional, and see if they will want to try it out. Tell your most mentally deficient male friends that because they are ‘hand blown,’ they are great to use for oral sex.

Available at the Penthouse Store, for more information you can also visit Phallix.

Q:
My wife can only get off with toys. No matter what I do, she never comes from my tongue or my penis-she always uses one of her many vibrators on her clit while I am fucking her. I would really love it if she could come without toys during intercourse. All of the other women I’ve been with were able to get off from me thrusting inside them. Is there something wrong with her?

A:
It’s a mistake to compare one woman to others. Some women come during intercourse, while others can only orgasm during foreplay or afterplay. Still other women can climax only from oral or manual stimulation, or with the help of toys. A small percentage of women are able to orgasm only during masturbation Indeed, your past girlfriends may have faked that orgasmic response. There is probably nothing wrong with your wife. Why change what works for her? Instead, you can help her finish by using the vibrator on her-or by wearing a vibrating cock ring with a clit stimulator during intercourse. You could also suggest that she abstain from using her vibrators for a couple of weeks while you experiment with cunnilingus and manual stimulation of her clitoris and vagina. Try new positions, such as the coital alignment technique-a version of missionary where you “ride higher in the saddle” and rub your pelvis against her clitoris.

If you have a question or just a comment, please visit: penthouse.com/drz

A sex swing is a collection of straps which support the buttocks, thighs and back, forming a swing with stirrups, which is then suspended sometimes with bungee cords–from the ceiling, door or from a stand. The support provided by the swing allows a couple to experiment with new positions and many women love the weightless, bouncy feeling. The swing promotes longer intercourse sessions because the support of the female alleviates the effort required by the male.

There are many different types of swing. My favorite is the Love Swing by CalExotics popularized by Samantha in Sex and The City, because the straps of the Love Swing are padded, so they are soft and comfortable for your feet, ankles, calves and thighs. You can also buy a matching neck support. Comfort comes with a price though–about $350-300 in most adult stores. For those who want a cheaper version, there is the Sex Swing by Topco at about $100, but its unpadded straps soon become painful and detract from the “swinging sex.” I do recommend that you get a stand to hang the swing on, rather than risk your partner’s ass by dangling it from a hook drilled into your ceiling. Bringing the ceiling down on your heads as you bang away may terminate your desire for sex-as well as your lease. The Universal Sex Swing stand is compatible with any of the available swings and is rather easy to assemble.

Assembly takes 15-20 minutes and the pipes of the stand are rather bulky to store (and you would not want to leave the thing out when your mother-in-law visits!). If you want a simpler version of the swing, without the headaches of stands and ceiling hook-ups, I highly recommend the Door Swing. It is a fully adjustable harness that fits over your door and supports up to 200 pounds. Penthouse Store

Warning: if you are not acrobatic or are susceptible to joint injuries, the swing can be a hazard. But if you and your partner are physically fit, reasonably flexible, and looking for something exotic to spice up a dull, boring sex life, try “swinging” your way to orgasm.

Sexpert Dr. Victoria Zdrok has the best tips on how to score with the ladies. As seen on Fox News.