The year 2014 was a big one for movies: There were huge action flicks, hotly anticipated sequels, and another bumper crop of super-heroes. It took a lot to stand out from the crowd, but these films and stars managed to do it (hint: nudity always helps), and earned prestigious Dirty Dozen Awards.
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD FOR NUDITY
We love that Green has never even pretended to be modest: The stunning French actress went full-frontal in her 2003 film debut, the incestuous drama The Dreamers, and she’s remained devoted to the practice ever since. She stripped down on the small screen in Camelot and Penny Dreadful, and for several movie roles. In 2014 she pulled double duty, going topless in 300: Rise of an Empire and nude in Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. The icing on the cake? She’s not just gorgeous, but legitimately talented, so we don’t have to slog through terrible movies just to enjoy the T&A.
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD FOR NUDITY RECIPIENT-IN-TRAINING
Woodley is one of our new girl crushes, and not just because she went topless in White Bird in a Blizzard—although we were definitely cool with that. She’s also completely unapologetic about baring all. “In real life, when I have sex, I’m naked,” she told New York magazine. “So let’s make a real movie!” We hope she stays committed to that brand of realism for years to come.
BEST FULL-FRONTAL NUDITY
Scarlett Johansson in Under the Skin
Okay, so this science-fiction film hit festivals in 2013, but its official theatrical release was 2014—and since it features full-frontal from ScarJo, there’s no way we’re letting it slip through the cracks. The sex bomb stars as a man-eating alien, and while we never really find out why she preys on earthly dudes, her nude scenes make up for the unanswered questions.
We know it was supposed to be funny, but … it wasn’t. We basically just spent the whole time wondering what was floating around on our own cloud storage. And while it was fun to see Cameron Diaz in the buff after more than a decade of on-screen modesty (a body double was used in 2013’s The Counselor), the only thing we were inspired to do when we got home was clear our cache and secure-empty our trash.
BEST BROMANCE/CIVICS LESSON
Seth Rogen and James Franco, and
As one of our favorite buddy-movie duos, they’ve already tackled a drug gang in Pineapple Express and the apocalypse in This Is the End—so who better to take down a ruthless dictator? Franco and Rogen play a tabloid host and producer who arrange an interview with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, then get recruited by the CIA to assassinate him. After the film’s plot became public, Sony was the victim of a massive hack, and threats of violent protests and terrorist attacks at theaters showing the movie flooded the internet. Apparently, that was the first time Sony realized the project might piss off some people, because the studio scrapped its distribution plans just days before its release, drawing the censure of many, including President Obama. Jimmy Kimmel tweeted that caving in was “an un-American act of cowardice that validates terrorist actions and sets a terrifying precedent.” That about sums it up. Strike a blow for freedom of speech by renting or buying this one.
HOTTEST TEAM NUDITY
Julianne Moore, Sarah Gadon, Jennifer Gibson, and Olivia Williams in Maps to the Stars
In this twisted drama, Moore plays an aging starlet trying to win a role in a remake of a film that originally starred her mother. More important, just about everyone gets naked. Since David Cronenberg is at the helm, you have to squirm through some uncomfortable shit to get to the good bits, but the payoff is pretty sweet: Moore, always the overachiever, has a limo sex scene with Robert Pattinson and a threesome with Jonathan Watton and Jennifer Gibson.
This British babe has been acting for more than a decade, racking up awards and nominations across the pond. But her role as the titular missing wife in this disturbing thriller made her a household name here in the States. We won’t spoil anything, but suffice it to say we won’t forget a certain pivotal sex scene anytime soon.
It’s been 16 years since her girl-on-girl kiss in Cruel Intentions, and Wither-spoon has played it squeaky-clean ever since, so we were psyched to see her get uncivilized as a heroin addict who goes on a 1,100-mile hike to find herself. Reese has said the nude scenes were panic-inducing, but we’re glad she pushed through. You know, for art’s sake.
Pratt didn’t exactly have a meteoric rise to stardom.
He was homeless in Maui before being discovered by
Rae Dawn Chong while waiting tables. He was turned
down for dream roles in Star Trek and Avatar. He
nearly lost his role in Moneyball because he’d gained
too much weight. It’s safe to say that three years ago,
no one—Pratt included—could have predicted he’d star
in two of 2014’s highest-grossing films, The Lego Movie
and Guardians of the Galaxy. If the doughy dude from
Parks and Recreation can rake in more than $1.2 billion
at the box office in a year, there’s hope for everyone.
BEST FRANCHISE INSTALLMENT
TIE: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and X-Men: Days of Future Past
We’re a little nervous every time there’s a new addition to one of our favorite franchises, because one bad installment can ruin all the fun. But these two didn’t disappoint. The latest Apes movie actually fared slightly better among critics than the Charlton Heston original, and Days of Future Past was as good as or better than First Class (and that’s saying a lot).
WORST FRANCHISE INSTALLMENT
Transformers: Age of Extinction
Mark Wahlberg should forget about getting a
pardon for his crimes in the eighties and request
a pardon for making this movie. The over-the-top
explosions couldn’t make up for the pointless plot
and cheesy jingoism, and the whole mess dragged
on for a ridiculously long time. For the love of
Optimus Prime, people, know when to quit.
We’d basically watch Kristen Bell in anything,
but we’ll always love her best as this ass-kicking
private investigator. We went through serious
withdrawal when the TV show went off the air
after only three seasons, so we were stoked to
see Mars Investigations return, even if it was
only for a couple of hours.
From the March 2015 issue of Penthouse