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  • Cows wills wedding I’m on a signing tour for the release of “RollerDollz” right now. We’re somewhere in the Midwest and the bus is plastered with our images. We’re larger than life in bikinis and skates. People ask and we’re all on a derby team. Or potential customers ask and we’re all yours baby, on a disk, with a calendar and a Polaroid. $49.95 cash or credit.

    But no one has prepared me for the Midwestern mothers. One hefty one was on us in Subway. All she saw was a bus and two of the girls pictured on the bus climb out for lunch. She was taking pictures of us while we stood in line. She shoved her nine year old kid in Courtney’s arms and told them to say cheese. She followed us back out and took pictures of the bus. Pictures of us walking to the bus. Pictures of us getting on the bus. Pictures of us in the bus. Pictures of us eating.

    The derby story didn’t fly. She wanted to know if we just did a movie. Courtney says yeah. Midwestern mom smiles and promises to buy it. Her car is still running where she drove up next to us. We’re trying not to let her see us laugh and we all wish we could see her face when she gets home and googles it. Her kids will probably cry when she confiscates the autographs. Her husband will probably be pleasantly amused when she buys it anyway.

    So now we’re barreling through the Midwest with our porn bus and sandwiches. We have a signing at five two hours from here. Fort Wayne, Indiana. All signs corroborate the theory that we may have just left Ohio. We all want to cow tip because we don’t quite believe that any living thing would go down that easily and still be a strong candidate for it’s continuing presence in this unsympathetic reign of evolution. There are a lot of things out here that make us question the ability of evolution. Kind of like the recently busted myth that free market forces will work it out. And government working it out was nothing more than a fairytale. It is very human to never have considered that maybe nothing can work it out. Maybe it will always ebb and flow and there’s nothing we can do about the ebb. I’ve taken the same stance now with gene frequency and imperfect matings. And cows.

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    2 Comments »
    1. wtf there are porn bus tours through the midwest?!?! shit I need to move…

      Comment by jojo — October 3, 2008 @ 9:46 am

    2. I want to see pics of this bus. Larger than life chicks in bikinis on a side of a bus…you’re bound to turn some heads with that one!!

      I wonder if there is any drive by flashing going on!!

      Comment by myspacefred — October 3, 2008 @ 10:01 am

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