I’m at Starbucks and I just finished my second Espresso Truffle of the day and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open. Maybe it was because I stayed up until 4am fucking yesterday. Or maybe it’s because I was on set for 20 hours the day before. Or maybe it’s because I only got 3.5 hours of sleep before showing up to that set. And I can’t remember much beyond that. The airplanes and time changes are throwing me off.
Or maybe it’s because I have a Starbuck’s addiction and I’m crashing after my caffeine bump. But I don’t recall getting the initial energy rush part of it. Its so advanced that I can’t even perk up off an Espresso Truffle. Maybe I should order larger ones. Anything with the word “truffle” in it sounds fattening though so I’m ordering talls. Multiple talls.
I just checked my email. First thing in the box was the info for tomorrow’s shoot and I feel a vague sense of doom. It said to get a lot of sleep because it’s going to be a long day. This is coming from the same guy who called the 20 hour day normal. It’s a night shoot. I have a feeling I’ll be seeing the sun rise.
But the immediate thing to focus on is mustering the energy for tonight. It’s a Penthouse party. It’s my first time going to one of their events as one of their pets. Game face. I think game face might require more Starbucks but I don’t want more Starbucks. I don’t want the girl to look at me funny and say ‘another one?’ with that accusatory eyebrow thing she does. I might have to defend myself. I might go off about how at least when she goes home work is over. And a big day for her is eight hours. I laugh in the face of eight hours. I scoff.
Maybe there will be a shift change soon. Then they won’t know it’s my third one but they’ll still know I’ve had at least one already because I’m sitting here guiltily typing away on my computer with the empty cup next to me sneaking furtive glances at the cash register in intervals that are far too close together. They probably think I’m waiting to rob the place. Maybe if I make eye contact and smile they’ll know I’m harmless. Or they’ll think I’m coming onto them. Real human interaction baffles me lately. Thank Myspace and Facebook for that.
I’m gonna go the willpower route and pack up and walk out of here. I’m gonna walk tall. They’ll never know what obstacle I just overcame but I’ll know and that’s all that matters.
Kayden Kross is an adult film actress and was Penthouse Pet of the Month September 2008. For more information about Kayden visit her Official Site at www.clubkayden.com
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Someone
