GET HANDS ON
“Guys need to get back to working with their hands. I like a really masculine guy. I hate when a guy’s hands are softer than mine. That gives me the heebie-jeebies. Go out and get dirty with some oil from working on the car. And stop taking longer than me to get ready in the morning!”
GET GOOD HEAD
“Don’t dye your hair. It’s feminine. There are so many dudes in porn with frosted tips. I don’t like that. I wouldn’t date a guy with highlights—ever. It wouldn’t surprise me if men now buy more hair products than women. It just seems like a guy is caring too much if he puts gel in his hair every day, but it’s okay on certain occasions. Guys are wired a different way. They should be worrying about sports.”
DON’T BE A LEG MAN
“I’ve heard that calf implants are one of the most popular cosmetic surgeries. Don’t do that shit, man! I’ve looked at a chick and said, ‘She’s got nice legs.’ But on a guy? I’ve never been like, ‘Those are nice calves!’ ”
KEEP IT CLEAN
“There’s nothing feminine about whitened teeth. Getting rid of layers of gunk that have built up over time is part of hygiene.”
YOU, TARZAN
“Let the body hair grow. That’s the way guys are supposed to be.”
SPEED RAZOR
“A five-o’clock shadow is so sexy! Shave if you have to go to work, but let it go on the weekend. I like trimmed facial hair, too, but if it takes more than five minutes to trim it’s too much. Don’t do a drastic, Picasso-like thing.”
GET A LITTLE COLOR
“I prefer a guy with an upper-body tan. It’s a sign he’s been working outside with his shirt off. That’s hot. It gets me horny just thinking about a guy working outside, getting all sweaty and dirty. And you can tell a fake tan. I’ll say it again: Go work on the truck.”
FRAGRANCE FOUL
“Mmm, I love cologne. It mixes with a man’s pheromones and turns me on big-time. Dab a little on the chest, but don’t put anything below the belt—’cause if it smells like cologne, I leave it alone.”
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