Chivalry’s not dead, but it does require more flexibility than back in the day. Penthouse Pet Justine Joli reveals the truth about the double-edged sword of pleasing a modern woman.
By Jonathan Ages
CHECK YOURSELF
“If you can afford it, please pick up the bill. But a girl doesn’t have to put out just because a guy buys her dinner. I’m fiercely independent, so I generally pay for dinner on the first date. Then I get to call the shots at the end of the night. And if I pay and I want some, you’re definitely putting out.”
AVOID THE COLD SHOULDER
“I never wear enough clothing, so it is rad when I’m freezing my ass off and a dude offers his clothing. It looks like the girl belongs to you, like she’s a fucking arm ornament, but whatever, I’ve used plenty of men as arm candy.”
A SWING AND A MISS
“You have to open the door for me. If you don’t, I’ll be like, ‘Strike one’ You get three for the date.”
YOUR PLACE OR MINE
“I prefer not to be walked home, ’cause I don’t want you to know where I live. I generally drop my date off at his place. I totally take the man role. And, yes, I act like a man when I’m dating a woman, too. Oh, and if you’re not picking up a girl at her place, don’t show up on a first date with a bunch of flowers. That is a lot of shit to lug around. I don’t do the sweet and romantic thing.”
GOOD VIBRATIONS
“I don’t think it’s rude if you need to answer a really important call when you’re on a date. But turn that motherfucker on silent! When I’m out with a guy, I have to turn mine on silent, cause some of the guys I date know how I assign my ringtones: If I like you, you get the [Monty Python] ring ‘Sit on My Face.’”
FUCK THE THREE-DAY RULE
“Don’t be one of those guys who’s like, ‘I’m really cool, I can’t call for three days.’ Just send a fucking text message that night to tell her the date went well, or call her the next day. But I once hooked up with Maynard James Keenan from Tool. He didn’t text message me until two weeks later, when he went on tour. I have never felt more ashamed. But I’m not bitter.”
As seen in Penthouse Magazine Feb. 2008
