Everybody’s got relationship baggage, but no guy wants to carry his girlfriend’s, too. Penthouse Pet Teagan Presley explains how you can date her, not her cargo.
-By Jonathan Ages
HIDE YOUR HAND
“Don’t have the sex-history talk until you’re exclusive, and you’ve had sex. Do it over a drink—’cause she’ll tell you more if she’s not sober.”
NEED-TO-KNOW BASIS
“The most important question to ask is about STDs. Put it nicely. Ask her if she always uses condoms. The conversation will naturally flow from there. And if she doesn’t use condoms, she’s not thinking about her sexual health. Run out the door!”
SHE COUNTS LIKE BERNIE MADOFF
“I don’t think it really matters how many people she’s had sex with. Don’t even ask. Anyway, she’s probably gonna chop five or ten people from her actual number before she gives you a total. And that total does not include the one-night stands she had when she was fucked up.”
TAIL TALLY
“Most girls just won’t care about the number of women you’ve had sex with, so just tell her, if she asks. It’s definitely more acceptable for a guy to have a higher number than his girlfriend. If it’s particularly high, though, she might be worried that she won’t measure up to the other women.”
THE GARBAGE DUMP
“Find out if she’s slept with any of your friends. You don’t want to fuck a girl after one of your buddies has. This is an extreme example, but one of my friends found out that the girl he had been fucking had already fucked one of his friends. And one of their hookups was an hour apart!”
SEX, LIES, AND MORE LIES
“There’s no guarantee that she’ll tell you if she cheated on a previous boyfriend. She doesn’t want to give you the impression that she has a
tendency to cheat. But if she has, you
should be a little more guarded. You
don’t want to look like an idiot.”
HEAR NO EVIL
“Some girls are open about their past, like my friends, who are blunt bitches. They’d be like, ‘I wouldn’t be so good at sucking your dick if I didn’t have all this experience!’ Other girls are really shy about it. If a girl doesn’t want to answer a question, she’s been around the block.”
