Valentina Vaughn – Quitting Time

Unless you’re a one-night-stand devotee, there’s a good chance you’ve spent time in Dumpsville. It sucks. (At least that’s what we’ve heard.) Penthouse Pet Valentina Vaughn reveals the secret signs women give before kicking guys to the curb.

SHE’S GOT GAME
“Dating is such a twisted world of manipulation. If a girl really likes you, she will play games—like making you wait for sex. If I’m interested in a guy, I ask him as many questions as he asks me. If I’m not really into him, I won’t. I stop listening and totally use him like a punching bag and therapist.”

CHEAT CODES
“Some girls look good all the time and some girls only look good when they like a guy, so the cellphone is a better indication of a girlfriend’s wandering eye. If she doesn’t answer her cellphone at work, that’s fine. But if she doesn’t answer at another time or call you back within the hour, that’s the No. 1 sign she’s cheating. And when a girl accuses you of having a wandering eye, it’s her guilty conscience com i ng out. Cheaters accuse somebody else of cheating because it makes them feel better about themselves. This is, like, Psychology 101.”

ON A BREAKAWAY
“When somebody says, ‘I want to take a break,’ it means that they know the relationship is going to hell. A break doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end, though. There is still a chance that you’ll get back together. But when she’s taking the break, she’s either doing her best to get over you or trying to forgive you for all the dumb shit you’ve been doing.”

GOING TO THE MATTRESSES?
“If you keep having bullshit fights-and I think it’s guys who mostly do this ’cause they’re fucking pussies-then she wants out. She doesn’t respect you. She is definitely trying to get you to break up with her. It’s hard, but you just have to draw the line and say, ‘Fuck it.’ ”

HOOP DREAMS
“I give fair warning when I’m about to break up with a guy. I’ll keep my mouth shut and just observe more. I was totally at wit’s end during my last breakup, but I was trying to make the relationship better. I wasn’t surprising him with dinner or anything, but I was giving him another chance. He should be the one jumping through hoops, not me. And if he doesn’t want to, then it’s just that much easier to leave him.”