Currency Apocalypse

Article by Gideon Rozner

I recently visited a cemetery. Reading tombstones got me thinking about what I want on mine: “I tried to warn you.”

Currency: Impending Economic Apocalypse

[Before beginning, we should note that the views reflected in this editorial reflect ONLY those of the author, and not Penthouse as an organization. Characterization of “Crackpot Ideas” only exists from extremely subjective interpretation. Sadly, middle ground has all but disappeared these days in the US vs. THEM chaos we keep electing to Governments around the world. Just bear that in mind as you evaluate the (actually interesting) theory presented. -Ed.]

Many people have admitted the coronavirus saga has changed their politics. It’s changed mine. I’ve gone from being a libertarian to being a paranoid libertarian. I’m now certain we’re on the edge of a horrible economic abyss. We are dancing on the lip of the volcano. We are shareholders toasting our portfolios in 1928. We are investment bankers hoovering up subprime mortgages in 2006. We’re Dutchmen hoarding tulips in the 1600s. We’re rank-and-file linesmen in 2002, safe in the knowledge our retirement savings are invested in good old reliable Enron stock.

Collectively, we’re every other chump in world history who thought the good times would last forever — until they didn’t.

But, yeah, like I said: I tried to warn you.


Every country in the developed world is plunging itself into debt. How much longer can we keep paying off the mortgage with a credit card?

Money — almost everyone on Earth wants it, yet few understand it.

Until a couple thousand years ago, there was no currency, only bartering. Exchange was direct. When societies evolved, early civilizations minted coins to exchange. Eventually, people got tired of carrying around all that metal, so banks issued paper banknotes, which could be redeemed for gold, then governments took over with central banks.

In 1971, Richard Nixon decoupled the U.S. dollar from gold completely. Since then, American currency has no intrinsic value, other than “full faith and credit” of the U.S. government. Every national currency on planet Earth now functions this way. But how far does “full faith and credit” go, when a government can bring money into existence simply by printing it?

Remarkably far, it seems, in the 50 years the experiment’s been running. But history is replete with examples of when it hasn’t gone well.

The Chinese were the first to introduce paper currency around the 10th century, but eventually so much of the government-backed cash was in circulation that its value plummeted. Paper money was abolished in 1455 and not introduced again for several hundred years.
The lesson? You can’t create new money without any underlying economic production backing it up. A thriving economy creates money, not the other way around.

Could a currency crisis happen here? Of all the crackpot ideas the political left are unleashing, it’s the so-called “modern monetary theory” that will do us in. It’s hard to work out exactly how much President Joe Biden’s spent since he’s been in office, but his COVID relief bill alone dumped $1.9 trillion U.S. dollars on the global economy. Of all U.S. dollars currently in circulation, one-fifth has been created in the last 12 months.

We will see inflation in time. Consumer prices have already jumped 4.2 percent in the last year. The more the government floods the economy with cheap cash, the higher prices will go. Meanwhile, Bitcoin is decentralized, largely unregulated and finite, designed so no more than 21 million of them can be produced.


Cryptocurrency adoption is highest in countries with unstable currencies, with long-suffering people in places like Nigeria and Venezuela buying it up on the black market. Cryptocurrency may be to government-backed money what Uber was for the taxi industry. If we can break the government’s monopoly over currency, anything is possible.

For now, look after your assets, be wary of low-interest loans and take a good, hard look at government-backed money sitting in your bank account.

Then, enjoy the fireworks. The economic chaos will not be pretty, but it won’t be boring.
Remember, I tried to warn you.

Every great innovation in all of history started out as a crackpot idea of course. “What? You want to flip a little thingy on the wall, and then the room will not be dark anymore? That’s crazy talk.” … We are, of course, communicating with you via the World Wide Web, another thing you cannot hold in your hand (unless, of course, you happen to be fans of The IT Crowd). So there’s that.

[An alternate theory would be that money only matters if people BELIEVE it has value. Its actual value makes no difference at all. … Of course now we’re meandering into deep economic theory, and that may not be why you dropped by today at all. We’ll stop now. You can go check out the list for our growing Cam Performer series. You’ll probably feel a lot better. -Ed.]