Penthouse Retrospective

by Allan Sonnenshein Originally Published: April, 1991

Andrew Dice Clay | 30 Years Ago This Month

Once I smoked a joint before I went over to the Comedy Store, and the next thing I know, I’m sitting on my ass in the bathroom. The comics were putting cold towels on me and shit, and I finally got myself together enough to go home and call Hot Tub Johnny, 4 AM. his time, and he talked me down until the sun was coming in my apartment.

So you never really got into drugs?

Clay: No. I couldn’t be funny ripped out of my mind. Let’s say like the marriage thing ended and I didn’t walk away from the drugs. I would have never gotten to this level. Any kid reading this-if you think doing drugs is a cool thing and that you fit In with everybody, you’re going to wind up destroyed or dead.

That’s why you don’t have any drug humor?

Clay: There’s nothing funny about drugs. You want to smoke cocaine and die, is that funny? Guys go into the fucking toilet and never come out. Belushi, Freddie Prinze. I ran into Belushi at the Comedy Store. A week later he was dead. He used to like my leather. We would rap, before he started getting stoned at night. He was a real nice guy, real funny. One night I come to the club and it’s “Did you hear who died?” It was horrible.

What’s the last thing you want to say to your fans?

Clay: Number one, be loyal to your family and friends. If you’ve got that, anything else is extra. Don’t quit — if you’re a quitter, then when you’re an old man going “I could’ve been,” people will go, “If you could’ve been, then you would’ve been.” So if you give it an honest shot, you’ll know in your heart you did the right thing.

And what’s the last thing you’d like to say to people who have no clue what you’re about?

Clay: I was put on earth to entertain. That’s what I’m supposed to do, that’s what I love to do, and nobody is stopping me from that. Dice will be around for a long time. Nobody fucks with Dice. Dice does the fucking, ya hear?

The Andrew Dice Clay Addendum: We hear ya.

(There is always an addendum with Mr. Clay, we have found.)

Lest one decide that vulgarity when out with the 90s, we will gently remind you of genre aficionados from within these very pages. Should you be completely captivated by Andrew Dice Clay at this moment, you probably appreciated the “NOW and THEN” header image for this article. You might also be interest in “The Diceman Cometh” comedy special which, at least as of this publication, one could find still available on YouTube. While you may not appreciate the humor all of the time, odds remain extremely high that you will understand it more easily than one might Eugene O’Neill.

Mention the name Andrew Dice Clay, and if whomever you are speaking with recognizes it, they will definitely have an opinion. We love that.

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