Penthouse Retrospective

by Nanette Varian Originally Published: December, 1990

Roseanne Barr

That’s even more hypocritical than George Bush. They’re the kind of people who say, “I was speaking to my maid, and she said … “ Well, get out of the way and let’s hear your maid.

I hate liberals. Everyone hates them. They are so phony. I’d rather deal with the conservatives, to whom I can say, “I totally disagree.” The liberals are in there fudging every issue, selling out this group of people to make points with that group of people. Nobody likes that. We need something more clear-cut. It’s the nineties. You gotta have opinions. Liberalism and all that stuff has been dead for a long time. They imag­ine that everyone winds up joining hands and com­ing together in the end, and that’s very false.

Now that you’ve got so many new staff members in place, what kind of changes should we expect to see on the show this season?

Barr: It’s going to be funnier and more edgy. There will be more fights between Dan and Roseanne. More man-woman sex stuff-verbal sex, battle sex, be­cause I think that stuff is really, really sexy.

Do you think people have good sex after a good fight?

Barr: Well, of course you dol That’s why you fight! It’s like, “Oh Christ, what did he do that I can say pissed me off?” I think a lot of couples do that. I’ll pick fights with Tom a lot of times for that. Anger is great passion. We always fight. We have great, intense fights.

What kind of fights lead to the best sex?

Barr: The best fights are when he’s trying to get me to calm down. Then I get more and more mean, and more and more vicious. I’ll slug him and pound on him and stuff like that. We had a huge fight in Las Vegas, and that was the best sex. We had a huge fight, then I was pounding on him and he ripped my shirt off-he can throw me around pretty good. I like that. He just, like, throws me down and, you know, that’s the best. I never thought I would say that, but it is.

In the right circumstances, with the right person?

Barr: Oh, not anything cruel or mean. You’re in control. It’s not like some guy with really horrible bad breath, covered with piss. It’s rarely that [laughs]. No, but I mean just real passionate – force­ful, rather than forced. And sometimes, to do that to him, for you to take control and push him around is really awe­some. He likes that. Guys like that.

Penthouse: In your autobiography you said you’d like to eat Mel Gibson “lit­erally and figuratively.” If men were food, who else would you want to eat?

Barr: I mostly like character actors, guys who seem like real cavemen. I like Tommy Lee Jones – I think he’s awe­some manly. I like guys like that, with kind of fucked-up faces, but some smoldering shit in their eyes.

Penthouse: You don’t like pretty boys?

Barr: No, they’re wimpy. I like a guy who looks like he’s been messed up and pushed around a lot. Who looks real strong. Those guys are the best, be­cause underneath they’re so soft and so sweet. Not like those guys who are wimpy on the outside and underneath is a horrible, cruel, asshole core. You know that if a guy’s, like, really, really perfect and good-looking, there’s probably not much to him. I like a guy who looks like he took a grenade in the face.

It’s just like people, everyday-looking people. They might have intensely great sex, whereas the other people we get programmed to think about probably never do-because they’re too busy waxing their legs. I think regular peo­ple sex is really sexy, not like the movie ­star-type sex. Because then you have to start thinking about, “I wonder what they do? Do they tie each other up? What would they do? How would they do it?” Whereas with the movie-star ­type people, you’d pretty much know ­they do it in front of a mirror.

Penthouse: Do you think you’re sexy?

Barr: Well, I’m doing this in Penthouse because I’ve never really done any­thing for that audience. And I’ve real­ized more and more that I’ve got a lot of male fans. That, plus the fact that I’m remarried, I feel like I’m about the sex­iest thing. I know that I am.

No matter how insane people make her out to be, when you hear her words, Roseanne doesn't seem much different than any other intelligent woman with an ax to grind. Unless, of course, she's talking about how insane she is...

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