Article by Team Penthouse

Consider this, then, an addendum of perineum, if not precisely prurient, interest.

Polyamory in Print

First off, understand that at this point in our burgeoning web publishing department, assignments get strewn out in classic, time-honored tradition. Senior editors carefully analyze the original article, divining from it the depths of meaning from nuance to pith. After hours of weighty deliberation, this wise editor graces the staff with the fruits born of proper (and darned impressive) rumination by assigning the absolute perfect literary lackey to translate the current epic from print to digital publication. In other words, somebody looks at a list of stories in an excel file and assigns them randomly to anyone foolish enough to check their email regularly.

Full disclosure here, it might be that some person of a certain age in our group needed to ask another person in our group — she being some three decades or so younger than our original person — to translate what the heck a “heteronormative” person might even be. Would we recognize this creature if we met one, say, in line at a vaccination clinic? Well, after a fascinating conversation regarding gender identification and the baffling complexity facing young people today, said old person found himself suddenly able to translate into a language possibly more easy to understand.

Take the following two photographs:

Polyamory - Female, Female, MalePolyamory - Male, Female, Male

Now these photos feature (left to right, top to bottom): Riley Nixon, Joanna Angel, and Small Hands, then Brad Newman, Izzy Lush, and Jason Moody. Most importantly, however, may well be that you had a substantially different visceral reaction to the threesomes presented. Based on the completely unscientific strategy of simply showing a few people in the (virtual) office, the top and bottom photos bring about substantially different responses — particularly in males. Based on our polling data, and again translated into old-people speak, bisexual women have become fascinating, compelling, illusions of sexuality, quite possibly having moved all the way up to admirable on our mental scales. Bisexual men, though, still spawn often queasy feelings of confusion, unease, and occasionally downright open ooginess. Fascinating, right?

Vault Polyamory - Female, Female, Male

While the top two shots come from modern Penthouse polyamorous play, the last one comes from the “Penthouse Vault” section, an area devoted to remastering and republishing the classic magazine layouts from the lengthy Penthouse history. We would have included one featuring two men and one woman captured during these vintage days, but somehow we could not find one. Apparently bisexual — or at the very least quite comfortable with their sexuality — men did not exist in those days. Who knew?

By the way, we cannot say what you should feel about all of this. Honestly many of us cannot even say for sure what we feel about it. We can tell you, however, that each of these scenarios reveal themselves much more fully in the digital pages of PenthouseGold. That may not mean much to most people, but it gets the “Shameless Plug” portion of our directives out of the way completely, so we’re taking the win.

Rest assured, however, that even in the scenes featuring a woman with two men, the males participants remain at all times respectfully distant from each other — because, y’know, oogey.

If you find yourself unfamiliar with the term Polyamory, then you very likely need not worry about it. Just don't judge those that embrace it,

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