Depending on where you are in the country, you might be enjoying blissful spring warmth or lingering late-winter. Whatever the weather, it’s always a good idea, when indoors, to take off your clothes and get busy. The following Romance Products will help you in your mission, should you choose to accept it.
Dosist Passion Vape Pen
Early twentieth-century anti-“marihuana” propaganda threatened its potential users with a depraved lifestyle of sex and violence after a single toke. But that was then, and this is now. Get stoned, peace out, and fuck, is what we’re trying to say. This petite vape pen, with its 11:1 THC to CBD formula designed for an intense body high, will help get you there.
dosist.com / $30
Jack Knob Polish
What if you wanted all the pleasure of being stoned, but didn’t want it to extend beyond the crotch area? After all, some of us have to work in the morning and can’t spend all night getting high and getting down. Well, look no further. The CBD in this water-based lube helps promote blood flow to your junk, which means a longer-lasting, more intense erection, but without the mind fuckage. Say no more, right?
cbdcaring.com / $12-$24
Intimate Art Kit
One of my exes had this folded-up canvas in her closet that was covered in blue splotches. When I asked about it, she said she’d gotten naked, rolled around in blue paint, then rolled around on this canvas as part of some yoga cult she’d once been involved in. The premise here is similar, but you don’t have to go to India, you don’t have to join a yoga cult, and you can put the results up on a wall and make your dinner guests eat under your sex art.
uncommongoods.com / $60