John McAfee

Article by Sean Bruce

They go inside, they bug-test, they take photographs to prove they got in, because no one’s going to believe this, right? Because no one can get into the most secure fucking facility on the East Coast. Nobody. Social engineers can. This is how social engineers work. Now, imagine how much more fun that is, than spending tedious hours writing some fucking computer code.

Hollywood is making a movie about the Wired article that covered your infamous Belize period. I know you say a lot of the story isn’t true but —

No, no, no. I didn’t say anything about that. Nothing about the Wired story. There’s a difference between the Gringo movie that was put out by my archenemy and the Wired piece that was done by Joshua Davis. I didn’t think there was anything untrue about that at all. But let me tell you what happened.

OK, so Wired magazine called me and asked if I’d be willing to have one of their reporters come down and actually live with me for a couple of weeks to write up a big story. I said, “Well, this ought to be fun. Yes. Sure.” And I gave Josh Davis an entire week. I mean, wow, did they send the wrong dude. I mean, he was so out of his fucking comfort zone.

On the second day, for example, I said, “OK, well, I’ve got to put up with this motherfucking guy.” And the big thing about this story, which everybody talks about, is the gun incident, the Russian roulette.

First of all, sleight of hand and magic for kids and things, I enjoy doing that. I’ve been doing it for 55 years. Here’s what I did: I took a bullet and fired it so that the firing cap had detonated already. I then take the bullet itself, put it in the shell so it was just like a real bullet, with the exception if you’re looking closely, you can see the indentation in the cap.

We were sitting at the dining room table in my San Pedro beach house. We were just talking and shit, and while we’re talking, I pull my gun out. He’d never even seen a handgun before. I open it, and I’m still talking, and I’m saying, “Yes. The difficult thing in the jungle,” and I’m emptying the shells on the table. And he’s looking. “The difficult thing was trying to get all of the people together to actually do the work, and they’re so lazy out there.” And I take one of the bullets, I put it back in the gun, it’s the one that’s already been fired, there’s no powder in it. It cannot fire. I spin it and close it, and while I’m still talking, I go, “And the other thing, in Orange Walk, the mayor…” Click.

So, now he jumps up, knocking his chair over, and he’s going crazy. And I go, “What’s the matter?” And so I spun it again, and I went click. Now he’s panicked. He involuntarily jumps back against the wall, he says, “What are you doing?” I go, “Nothing.”

“You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do this,” he says.

So finally, I just spun it, and I went: click, click, click. By now, he’s totally freaking out. He’s looking around. “Is there help? Somebody help, I don’t know what’s going to happen. He’s going to shoot me.” So then I said, “Calm down, calm down, calm down. Let me show you something.” And in the meantime, since he’s panicked, he’s paying no goddamn attention. I’ve taken out the dud and put in a live shell while he’s not watching, one of my sleight of hand things. So, “It’s OK. It’s OK. It’s OK. Josh, it’s OK. Come with me outside. It’s OK. I’ll stop.

I’ll stop.”

I then take the gun, point it at the sand, I go, boom. Sand flies everywhere. “See how lucky that was?”

Now, he was too stupid to figure out, “Goddamn, that was a clever trick.” Because most people they go, “How did you do that?” But not him. No. So he makes this the central point of the whole fucking story about how crazy John is.

I fucked with him the entire time he was with me to the point that when he left, he was just a pool of jelly. He did not know what was up, down, left or fucking right. Why? He’s the media, my son. Had he been remotely honest with me or himself, we might’ve had some fun, but no. OK. So let me show you what happens when you waste my fucking time.

That’s all we got from John McAfee himself, but should you wish more, we helpfully direct you to the Wired Magazine article. Other fascinating interviews appear within these pages, also helpfully. All in all, we’re really very helpful.

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